Should I still want "daddy" to be a part of my 18 mo old son's life? Biological father is now entering the family..

by Jessica
(Orlando)

Here's the background. And please, forgive me ahead of time for doing what I've done with my marriage. I care about my son more than anything though and now want to prevent him from feeling abandoned altogether if possible and am trying to figure out the best way to do that...

T H E B A C K G R O U N D:
- I was married but fell in love with someone else and was having an affair.

- I got pregnant but thought my husband was the father.

- I gave birth to my son, and raised him alongside my husband while still having the affair.

- 18 months after my son was born, the affair was discovered by my husband. He had a paternity test done and found out he wasn't the father afterall.

- My husband and I are getting a divorce now. I will be in a relationship with the other man and very likely in the future, be getting married to him.

- He, the biological father, has always been very involved in my son's life seeing him multiple times a week as we were all family friends and at each other's houses often.

- The biological father does want to assume the role of my son's dad. And my husband is unsure if/how he wants to remain a part of his life.

Its been 2 months since the affair came out and a little over a month since my son has seen my husband (the man who he knows as his "daddy"). It seems as if my son is generally a bit uncertain about things and sad. But he's also teething so honestly, its hard to tell the difference between this and general crankiness due to teething pain..


M Y Q U E S T I O N S :
How is the best way to handle/transition my soon to be ex-husband and my future husband (the biological father) as they move in/out of my son's life?

If my husband is willing to, should I let/want him to continue to be a part of my son's life?

And if he doesn't want to long term, should he gradually transition out over a few months, or would it be better to not have them together at all any more? (its already been a month since they've seen each other.)

Thank you so much!