She loves me but thinks I will harm her.

by Kev
(SOMERSET, ENGLAND)

My partner and I have split because she has a 27 year old son who doesn't get along with me. This caused arguments between my partner and I. Due to this and the denial of it not being his fault his actions and hate towards me because we argue over him.

All he saw was his mum upset and crying and blamed me for that....and not his actions or non-action that caused it. I would get frustrated say nasty things because she protected him. I would get violent because of the frustration and hit the door or throw things. I know this is wrong and have controlled this now but its too late.

He is at home with her he is happy she is no longer frightened and she decides we have no future together? The ironic thing is she says she still loves me to my friends and me but frightened of me....what should she do? I know I will never hit her but at the time had to hit something....why?

Can you help please?

I am getting counselling and think a relationship counsellor can help.

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Mar 11, 2016
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Anger Management...
by: Don

Getting help with Anger management is the place to start. If you get so mad you lose it and hit things, then you need to learn to manage that anger even before you try counselling.

A lot of times, people who see their partner taking appropriate action (genuine action), will begin to pay attention and may develop some hope and an open mind to consider counselling -- once they are convinced you are being authentic and genuinely learning how to regulate your anger (aka Angry/Defiant Ego-state)

Good luck!
Don

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