Raised by my grandparents
My grandparents began raising me at a very young age. They were very supportive and encouraged me to do anything that I was able to do. I felt very loved by them. I never knew my father and felt that he really did not love me or he would have had a part in my life. My mother lived in another city. She had another child that she gave up for adoption. I did not meet her until I was about sixteen years old. She eventually ended up in an abusive relationship with an alcoholic and raised another child with this man.
Although I did see my mother sometimes, it was a series of broken promises about coming to see me. Many times she came to my grandparents house only to get money. My grandparents had two children remaining at home, and I again felt abandonment of close relatives when they went to college. To this day, I have never said anything bad about my mother. I have been in counseling, but I have avoided this issue. My grandmother explains to me that this issue is like poison in my body which I must release, but I have been unable to do so.
In high school I had a boyfriend who was very understanding and giving. He had a bright future, but I broke up with him when I started college. I became involved in unhealthy relationships and did not choose my friends wisely. I eventually became pregnant. I have been involved with the baby's father since his birth. I am currently living with him. It is a very unhealthy situation for me and my child. He works very infrequently, and I am working two jobs to pay our bills. He constantly berates me and uses horrible language in front of our child to the point my three years old calls me a bitch in addition to hitting, kicking, and biting. He takes care of our child while I am working, and does nothing to educate him. He is a very intelligent child but does not exhibit the intelligence because he does not work with him. He has tried to control me and I have lost all of my friends as a result. He tries to keep me from seeing my family and constantly berates them. My grandparents help me considerably and bought me a car. He kept driving the car without insurance and a driver's license, so my grandmother took the car back.
I know this relationship is bad for me, but I cannot seem to leave. I have a place to go. Many of my family members have offered to help me, but I just cannot seem to leave. What is going on?