oye vey

by Bubala
(NH)

I have 1 28 year old son that I am enabling with his bills. I go to ALANON but I still enable. I was gonna pay his cell phone bill again with money that I was gonna pawn a necklace. I am so depressed over him

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Aug 09, 2012
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Every journey begins with the first step...
by: Angie Carter

In order to get the strength to start setting boundaries, sometimes we have to start out small and very often need the support of others. The compulsion to enable can be as devastating and destructive as using alcohol or chemicals.
Powerlessness effects both the addict and the enabler. I needed to "tap" into a power greater than myself in order to access enough power, strenth, courage and willingess to start doing the next right thing.
You may want to want to seek out Families Anonymous in your community- they really help a lot of parents with these very issues. I have been going for several years now. It has been most beneficial. If you don't have one in your area get online and check out their literature. They have some wonderful things available online.
Don't give up! For your sake and your son's sake.

Aug 07, 2012
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for oye vey
by: no guts

I not that for from where you are; I have had to seek theapy myself and it is helping, SLOWLY. Support groups can only support/encourage, but I needed more, to find out why I do what I do. My therapist treats my son as well, so she sees both sides of the picture; I am not where I should be but I hope I will be one day,( there is always small voice saying 'maybe I won't have to...')

Wish you the best

Aug 06, 2012
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Too much love...
by: Don

The instinct for love can betray us sometimes. When we see a loved on hurting it is natural to want to help...but when you realize that your helping is hurting and you do it anyway you have an addiction and need to get some help for that.

If Alanon is not doing it for you alone, add counseling to the mix. Find out what is at the root of your need to be needed.

Blessings!
Don

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