opening up old wounds

by Chas
(Arkansas)

Yesterday I went to my first therapy session with a psychotherapist. I told him I am finally ready to deal with my issues head on because my inner demons are starting to spill over and hurt my family. So heres my story in a nutshell. My mother was 19 and my father was 20 when I was born. They were very much into the party scene and continued to live that life. Even if that meant I had to go to the partys with them. My mom left us when I was 3 so she could have the freedom she was so eager to have. So my Dad (who has major issues of his own) was left to raise me. He was emotionally absent virtually my whole childhood. I was of course very lonely as a child. I grew up to be a resentful teenager, luckily I had people in my life (church) that helped stear me out of the self destruction I was doing to myself. I grew up got married have 2 children and have a good career as a nurse. But my false self is starting to be self destructive again. I dont want to chase my family away. So my therapist told me to revisit my most earliest memories and let the emotions and feelings come up and he told me it would hurt like hell but to welcome it becasue its part of the healing process. My question is HOW? My whole life I have supressed my feelings how am i supposed to just tell my subconscious "ok you can tell me how you really feel now, Im ready" I just dont even know where to start.

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Jul 10, 2016
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by: Don Carter

Hello!

Sorry you are not getting many comments yet. Your question is a good one, but it is very broad and many people who can relate to your pain are searching for the answers themselves.

Some people find answers at 12-step meetings like Adult Children of Alcoholics and other Dysfunctional Families (ACA or ACADF). Others go to Codependents Anonymous (CoDA).

As for our part on this website, we have created the Serenity Cafe Academy which is where you can find eCourses we have designed to help you understand and heal Abandonment issues, toxic Shame, and feelings of contempt for self and/or others. Below are two courses from my Thawing the Iceberg Series that I recommend for the issues you outline:

Thawing Childhood Abandonment Issues
Thawing Adult/Child Syndrome

I am glad to hear you are seeing a therapist, because it is important to have what I refer to as a "Safe Container" in which to do the work you are considering.

Additionally, These eCourses have a "Comments and Questions" box on every page that alerts me in my email when someone posts a question, comment, or suggestion. Angie or I will usually respond within the same day whenever possible.

You can also contact Angie or I for telephone or Skype coaching if you prefer.

Wishing you all the best!
Don Carter, MSW, LCSW

Jul 06, 2016
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by: Anonymous

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