No life of my own

by Trapped
(in LV)

I have an 11 yr old son. He is my second child 20 yrs apart. He is my husbands only child. He has always been a hand full since he was born. Colic, wouldn't sleep, hard to breast feed. Don't get me wrong he has been a loving and fun child as well. During the first 8 years my husband has either worked nights or away from where we were living. When he would be home, he basically ignored him. Sleeping or spending most of his time on the computer.

I've tried to maintain the relationship so my son has a father. Now I'm not sure that was the right thing to do. My son is making F's in his school. He has adopted his fathers love of computers and playing games. I'm left with taking care of the house, cooking, bills, anything my son needs and no life. My son has run away twice because I get upset about his grades. I have him in counseling he is depressed and mad.

Now about my older son.....he is taking advantage too. I let him rent a house I own. He promised he was never getting back with his girlfriend that he has had a very bad relationship with and one condition was that she could never move into the house with him. Well she did. He also had lost his job after a year of living there. I paid most of the bills for 5 months and he now has a job and only pays enough to cover the utilities...no rent.

I will be truthful....I want to run away. I had a back fusion last year and still have nerve damage and can not work yet. I feel trapped.

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Dec 04, 2016
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Feeling your pain
by: Anonymous

I am seeing this situation more and more around my circle of acquaintances and friends. It is terrible how our beloved babies can grow up to be so horrible to us. I am sure its been happening since the beginning of time; however, I don't remember it being this bad before. Sometimes I think our kids are growing up without having any responsibilities, and they have everything they could possibly want at home, schools and out in our communities and this is making them un-appreciative. They don't appreciate their parents, or what their parents have done for them. Kids take parents and all authorities for granted, it seems to me, kids feel they are entitled to everything the get. I also see kids from separated families favor the parent who is gone, even though it is the parent that is living with them at home who is putting their lives on hold so they can be there 24-7 for their children. It is a mesmerizing situation without a stress free journey to a possibly bad ending.

At the end of the day, I feel we have to #1 make boundaries for ourselves to how far we are willing to go with the abuse our kids throw at us.#2 communicate these boundaries to our kids #3 if they continue their behaviour, we have to treat them like any other person that hurts us by getting the law involved, and #4 cut all ties and let the kid decide how they want the family relationship to continue within your boundaries.

I know this is something that would hurt deeply as a mother;however, if these abusive children continue to be allowed to grow up getting away with abusing others, they will be a menace to our society and probably end up hurting many people and themselves.

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