No Guts!!

by Kay
(New Jersey, US)

I also have a 29 yr. old son who is not doing anything with his life; have always had trouble with him: very picky, stubborn as a baby; did not do well in school; only has a GED; has high IQ but no success in school, even with lots of tutoring; was diagnosed with seizure disorder at 9 yrs. of age; then with ADHD and then with Bi-Polar by the age of 19. Has had lots of speeding tickets, couple of DUI's, some stealing, smokes tobbaco and also smoked weed.

He is now trying to get off Oxycodone with Suboxone but not doing so well; stays up all night, sleeps all day; has big plans but no action; cannot keep a job for more than 4 months; at present has been out of work since Nov.09; lives at home.

His therapist wants him to go to in-patient rehab but he is not ready-- says he can do it on his own but goes to maybe one NarAnon meeting a week; is in mandatory outpatient treatment due to the DUI-- has been late and missed one of these so far.

I, the mother, take him everywhere, do almost everything for him: laundry, food, bought him a dog, pay for therapy, drive him to appointments, pay for his cigarettes, (but nothing else at this time). My husband is easy on him sometimes but since he works long hours and is not home much I have the most contact with our son, and therefore I am the main enabler, but HOW DO I FIND THE STRENGTH TO TAKE THE DRASTIC STEPS TO FIX IT?