No Boundaries

by Maggie
(arizona)

I know I am the main enabler and codependent of my 24 year old son. He is a heroin addict. He has spent 8 months using, 3-4 months in recovery every year since he was 17. My husband and I pay out of pocket for most of this unless, on the off chance he has insurance. Even in recovery, he uses - so I guess he really isn't ever sober for long.

With the advent of cell phones, he can get hold of me anyhow and anywhere. He is extremely manipulative. Starts every conversation with "I don't need money". But, by the end of each call I am wiring him cash or putting gas in his car. If he does work, the money goes to cigarettes and drugs. Quite frankly it is a pathetic situation. Is he sick - yes. Am I sick - yes.

I went 1 entire day not answering the phone. I turned my phones off. It was very refreshing. If I pick up a call 1 time; I will get 10 - 15 calls until he gets what he wants. I know this behavior started when he was a teen. I still felt I had parenting to do, support to give. I do feel so very bad that this is the path his life is stuck on. But, 7 years is just too much and too much emotion, time and money has been lost along the way.

I get up every day and say this is the day I won't do it. I am not doing well in that regard.