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New Level of Understanding about my Childhood - and Adulthood

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Apr 06, 2010
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To Deb
by: Kathleen D. Cone

Deb,

Since you are unable to go out and get the work you need in order to do the business you want to do. (And we all need financial stability).

Just for now, look for a job so you can restablize yourself financially... *But don't give up on the idea of someday being able to have your own business*.

Not everyone can wear every hat necessary to run a successful business. It's nearly impossible because there are so many different jobs to do.

And not everyone is suited for all the jobs. This is not something you need to feel bad about.

To do 'outside sales' for example you practically have be fearless, to a larger degree..and it takes alot of time, and an ability to accept rejection, if you hope to do well, That's why there is such a larger turn over in 'outside sales' jobs

For example:

Donald Trump says, "It takes 11 people to successfully run any enterprise."

Okay, a small business wouldn't necsssarilly need 11 people, but the idea in my telling you that, is that unless you can afford to hire the people you need to do the jobs you 'can't' it's probabaly best to...

Just for now, and until you can get back on your feet financially, look for another job where you are working for someone else and try again in the future, when you are ready. I think that will reduce alot of your stress.

And in the meantime, keep coming back here to the "internet of the mind" get into support groups in your area and you can even make it your side job to, really work on learing how to be the real you.

Much love, Kathy



Apr 06, 2010
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To Deb
by: Angie Carter

Hi Deb, I can relate to much of your story. Many of the same feelings and coping styles (or should I say non-coping styles??) What really spoke to me was the 'sometimes I felt very cared for or loved and other times not'. I have very mixed signals from my childhood which (obviously) leaves me feeling very mixed up most of time.

I have done a lot of counseling, support group work, individual re-parenting, and other various things to help me heal from the abandonment, shame and anger. I have made great strides, but honestly there is no quick fix.

For me, there is no more important work than this journey of self discovery and healing. The more healing that takes place the better I can function in the world and take care of myself.

I relate to having addictions (alcohol and drugs) and then when I am in recovery for those, something else pops up! ...like the shopping or eating - same thing here.

For me I also have to increase my spirituality because I cannot do it alone and besides, I don't have the power. I not exactly overly religious, but I have seen the power of prayer work in my life over and over again. If I could just fix myself I would and save myself all this effort put forth for recovery. It just doesn't work that way for me.

I attend A.A. (my addiction) F.A.- Families Anonymous- because I had a terrible time with my son's addiction and I also attend ACDF - Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families (or called ACoA). These support groups and specific recovery programs have allowed me to experience enormous healing, offer lots of much needed support, and a connection to a power greater than myself and also a way for me to give back to new people coming into recovery.

I hope you will continue on with your journey of uncovering, discovering and discarding. It is worth it!!

Apr 06, 2010
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New Level of Understanding about my Childhood - and Adulthood
by: Anonymous

http://www.internet-of-the-mind.com/cause-low-self-esteem.html

This has some really great reading. You never mentioned whether or not you seeked professional counseling or support groups.

I have/had a lot of your same issues. There is help out there. Deep down you have the strength to do what you have to do. I find that turning to my Lord (Higher Power) helps me immensely.

Good luck in your recovery. It will take a while, but you can do it.

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This information is not a substitute for professional evaluation and/or treatment. Reading the information contained here may trigger strong emotional reactions. If you have an emergency, call 911, other local emergency contact, your local emergency room, or law enforcement agency.