Need help Reprogramming Severe Abandonment Issues that are destroying my life.
I have ruined another wonderful relationship because of my abandonment and anger issues. I have no idea exactly what triggers me but I pick fights and argue and I can be so mean! I'm a kind, giving compassionate person and was on my way to getting engaged and my fiancé to be can't handle the fighting anymore and neither can I. I am desperate to rid myself of whatever this is! It's anxiety, depression, anger, rage and craziness all mixed together. If my boyfriend said the wrong thing at the wrong time look out! I'm 43 and have repeated this pattern my entire life. I have chased amazing men out of my life because I'm afraid they will leave me. Every time I argue with someone I break up with them. I am scared of what this will do to me. I am so depressed that I have ended another relationship out of fear and my anxiety is beyond overwhelming. My father committed suicide when I was 7 months old and I've had so many incidents of abandonment. I'm sure this has contributed to my problem. It's interesting that my dad had the exact same issues and I respond the exact same way that he did when my mom would do something innocent and he would react in rage. I completely understand what he was thinking and I never met him. I'm convinced its cellular memory but I've tried everything from hypnosis to eft to body talk and reiki to heal this to no avail. Any help would be greatly appreciated.