My son is breaking my heart

My son started having anxiety and depression problems at 9 years of age. He had therapy and medication since he was 12. He suffers from fears and social phobia and mild OCD. He is 33 now and still lives at home. he is very bright has a masters degree in psychology but couldn't find a job of choice. He also has a degree in IT from a technical school. he is job hunting right now but he really gets anxious before and interview and I keep having to make him feel secure. I'm a big enabler because all the guilt I feel makes me want his life to be great so I do way more than I should for him. I'm tired and 63 and don't know how to break this cycle we are in , please help

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Sep 19, 2014
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Answer is found in the problem...
by: Don

Hi,

The first thing to do is to get a proper evaluation and diagnosis of the anxiety...

If the problem turns out to be that your son gets anxious and you have always done too much for him in order to relieve his anxiety, then he has learned (at some level) that when he turns on the anxiety things get done, with little or no effort on his part. This "turning on" of the anxiety can be done by a part of him beneath his awareness which make it hard to change and easy to disown.

If that is the problem, then the solution is to begin doing the opposite of what both of you have been programmed to do all these year - but make this change with the help of professionals - for him, for you, or for both of you.

I am sure others who have this same issue will be able to offer other perspectives too.

Hope this helps,
Don

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