My boyfriend enables his 23 year old daughter

by Sandy
(California)

There is no way to even talk to him about this because he is way over protective over her and will get so defensive for her and will cause a war between him and i. The daughter did get an associates degree and without very much opportunities in their town, she works at a discount store and gets maybe 17 hours per week when she is lucky! She has plans to continue college but doesnt take it upon herself to enroll and he has let it go on for 2 years. Again, why would she do that? He pays her car payment that she was supposed to start paying for a year ago, he cooks, cleans, works a full day at work, and she does nothing but stay in her bedroom and game for hours. He refuses to see that he is enabling her and is harming her ability to become a responsible productive citizen. Here is a real kicker, we live 250 mikes apart and wants to move in with me and move forward with his dreams here, and bring her with!!! What? I am a newly empty nester and cannot even fathom her here. A huge fear of mine, she has the ability to blow anything out of text with her and i and tell him a horrible version and cause him to breakup with me. I love him and want to live our dream together but i think with her in the mix it will be one big disaster in itself! How do i help him see this?

Comments for My boyfriend enables his 23 year old daughter

Average Rating starstarstarstarstar

Click here to add your own comments

Feb 05, 2016
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
My boyfriend enables his 23 year old
by: Anonymous

Enabler, who isn't an enabler? Who is not guilty of enabling another? Why we have the need" to be reactant to either role fills a void maybe, impetus us from repeating a mistake or even a blatant maneuver, not to accept responsibility. Whatever it may be, I do believe it is necessary to go through certain stages in order to change. Not all can have the clarity of viewing their lives in the crystal ball, that only the eyes of their "loved ones" can see. Some of us are slow learners, perhaps the pain is to much. Personally, I try not to give power to words that come with a summon to be branded. He is her father, of course he is protecting her the way he knows. He will stop when he is ready,it appears you have the issue here. If you love him an want to be with him that's great, just know he comes with a daughter.

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Enabling Behavior Discussion Forum.