Meditation is helping

by Coamhin
(Ireland)

I am very pleased to have found this website. I felt a little bit lost on my journey of recovery. I found it difficult to connect with other people in A.A on the deeper issues such as healing the original pain of abandonment.

Don`t get me wrong I love the fellowship it`s help give my life back, but it`s sometimes inappropriate to share on the deeper issues that Don deals with. So I thank god for directing me to internet of the mind, where I can really express how i feel.

I have made about five contributions in as many days,my wife says i might be over doing it a bit, maybe I am. But recovery from the wounds of abandonment can lead you back to lonely and frightening places and while I rely on my higher power for strength, no man is an island and it is also good to have other support networks.

I particularly like Don`s meditations which have helped me immensely. I listen for twenty minutes before going to bed. Last night I was meditating and someone came to mind that I had hit in a fight while at school, I had also verbally abused him and he had a tear running down his face. I felt a deep sorrow come over me and in my minds eye I hugged him and said I was truly sorry. This repeated itself for a good twenty minutes until I had made amends to every guy I had hurt or been hurt by in fights.

When I was growing up my way of conflict resolution was to lash out when I was hurt. It also gave me a warped sense of self esteem. Although there were times when violence had the reverse effect, when I acted in a cowardly manner or I was so full of fear I ran away or backed down from confrontation and this caused me great shame.

This was stuff I didn`t deal with in my step four. But as I have learned, every traumatic experience that I have been a part of and my brain has recorded from the moment of my conception has to be dealt with for a full and whole recovery.

I know today that pretending to act tough was the false self and deep down I have discovered I am a sensitive and creative person. That's not to say I wont stand up for myself and my family but today I try and do it in appropriate ways..I abhor mindless violence.

THANKS, love and peace, Coamhin

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Aug 12, 2010
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Thanks!
by: Don

Thanks Coamhin,

There is no such thing as overdoing it as long as you are sharing experience, strength, and hope! Thanks so much for all your contributions to our community.

Glad the meditations are helping! I have just updated many of them and more to come.

Don

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