Loving grandfather overly protecting grandson

by Dick
(Ohio)

My grandson is 25 , we have raised him since he was 7. His mother was going tp put him in foster care because he was ADHD and other problems. He was constantly having problems in school, his only real friend moved away in fourth grade and he has had no friends since then! He graduated from high school through on line courses which isolated him even more. Since he graduated from school he wanted to join the Army but I discouraged it for a long time with many excuses why he should wait. Finally I went along with him joining but because of his social awkwardness and inability to lie he was rejected! Long story! It totally crushed him! It took a year for him to recover and I was able to get him to go to college locally. He has done well in school but he tries to take as many courses as he can on line. Now his grandmother died and it just him and me and I realize more every day how that in my protective love I have done him a huge disservice.! His dad is an alcoholic and his mother is crazy! I just found a 15 page letter he wrote to his shrink when he was 19 and it crushed me! I don't know where to turn! His letter was to his mom and it was really full of hate for her, the doctor had him write it to try to get rid of his hate for her. He ended it withe the fact that he forgave her because God makes him! Now that I have read the letter and really examine things, it is obvious I have not done am my kind of a decent job raising him he is not bad but I have allowed him to become so isolated that he has no life except for on line games, his school work and that's it. He never wanted to spend time with his grandmother because she smoked and he couldn't breath around her! I love him very much but I am 72 and scared to death what will happen to him when I die! He will give anything he has to his sister but she is somewhat cold like his mother! What do I do?.

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