Knowledge and Hope

by Brenda
(Columbia)

Wow, there’s so much to say, I don’t know where to start. I first attended Don’s short seminar, The Iceberg Lecture. For the first time, I heard and saw words on paper explaining my life story. Finally, the originating source of my fears and isolation were as plain as the nose on my face. What a great relief to learn that I’m not so crazy and not so alone! While I had previously made some pretty great strides in almost three years of therapy, I consider this new knowledge to be a springboard towards future recovery. The Iceberg Lecture was just the beginning. I now have an insatiable need to learn more and to work on fixing me.

Next up was the Weekend Retreat on Adult Child Syndrome. I gained more knowledge, learning about ego states, core issues of adult children, the inner child and re-parenting the inner child. More importantly, I was given tools that can be used in the process of re-parenting myself, including big/little journaling and a process for recognizing and responding to my feelings. The group exercises were just magnificent. I left this workshop feeling a bond with the other participants like I have never felt with another group of people in my entire life.

I’m also attending the Columbia 12-step ACDF meetings -- (a recovery support group for Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families.) What a wonderful feeling to be on this journey of recovery with others who just want to be happy too. It’s not easy getting so close to the feelings that have been stuffed deep down inside for so many years. It is very hard, but I’m trusting in God and taking it on faith that it will get better. Doug, one of the ACDF members has a quote that says, “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” That is so true for me. I could continue down the path as before pretending to be strong and independent without needing anything or anyone, or anything from anyone. That would be easy – I’m used to that. I’m ready to take the risk to at least try and find out what true happiness is.

And finally, the Serenity Café meetings on Saturday mornings are another source for help in my journey to recovery. As I just completed typing that sentence, the phrase “my journey to recovery” sent a very peaceful feeling through me. It feels so surreal. I can’t believe I’m really doing this!! In the café meetings Don leads us through exercises on inner child work, for those who are willing to participate. Again, it’s very hard stuff to get in touch with such strong feelings, but it’s for the better in the end.

Although I’m very new in my ACDF recovery process and inner child work, I would recommend Don’s seminars, workshops and meetings to anyone wanting to recover from their past and live a happier life. While I’m not there yet, I have a tremendous sense of hope that with this new knowledge and support and the grace of God that I’ll get there. I hope you get there too.