Is this what it is supposed to be like?

I've been married for almost twenty-five years to the same man. We have two college age children and now have the house alone. We've almost divorced three times, but I just can't seem to leave. My husband and I say that we love each other, but we seldom express any forms of affection. When we do,it's not meaningful. He is nonemotional and does not assure me that I am valuable to him.

He is currently overseas and has been for six months. We've had no emotional or meaningful communications at all. We exchange information. There's no feuding going on, however. He's been isolated with a married female of similar age for sixteen hours a day, six days a week. The seventh day, he has off half a day in which he often goes to the movies with her. They have every meal together, drive everywhere together, and live in the same building. I cannot imagine not developing an emotional bond with someone in this situation.

I trust him, but I can't help but to wonder....especially when he is neutral/cold to me. He does not seem excited about seeing me soon. I express my love for him and desire for him to be home. He says he's ready to return, but his actions don't support his words. He went overseas against my wishes, which broke my heart. As I said before, we are getting along right now that we are apart. However, when we are together, we are more like roommates.

Is this normal? Is the grass greener on the other side of the fence? I want for this relationship to be happy, but I'm tired of feeling unimportant to my spouse. I'm disposable.