Is it possible to enable paranoia?

by Paul
(Twin Cities)

An epiphany hit me this morning: my wife and I are having problems rooted in communication (or lack thereof, or dysfunctional). In the past several months, I've found myself more and more explaining why I did something because the blame and accusation I hear is so far from reality that it's just my natural response to correct the inaccuracy.

Is my repeated response to this paranoia enabling?

If so, how does one go about stopping this enabling behavior so that the accusations stop? Do I just let the accusations fly without defending my intent? Or is it possible that she isn't paranoid and simply reporting observations?

My own thought is that a big problem is that she doesn't ask why I do something, but rather assumes the worst possible intent and launches the accusation that my motivation was bad.