Comments for I was a victim too.

Comments for
I was a victim too.

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Jun 20, 2010
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The Strength to Extend Your Hand
by: Anonymous

I commend you for having the strength to extend your hand for help, your willingness to be so open and honest about your painful past and the effects it has had on your relationships is something I can relate to.

I am struggling with addiction, soul searching for answers as to why I continue with the self-destructive behaviors despite having lost everything important and that I cherish.I realized that I was searching for a way to be numb.

I have dealt with a lot of rejection, emotional abandonment, and emotional and verbal abuse through out my life. I give people too much power, acting out of fear of rejection and/or them withdrawing love.

I was too focused on being loved by someone that I didn't take the time to cultivate a love for MYSELF. I was so afraid and insecure to be honest that I lied over and over again but it's not unreasonable to ask that someone who says they love you to be emotionally supportive,and not justify degrading and humiliating me.

There were times I literally wanted to die, that I felt as if my very soul had shattered from the painful words.... your story has helped to reaffirm that though we may still bear scars from the past and struggle with relationships due to our inability to trust that if we work on loving ourselves and coming to believe we are worthy... there is hope and the willingness to extend your hand and share your story show your strength.

It takes trust and strength of character to be able to open up and even more to admit and reach out for help. I hope you realize the huge step you've taken to begin healing and the compassion you obviously possess by sharing.Your story can help others and shows that you are a person who is willing and able to overcome the pain of your past. By facing it and not living in denial it will lose it's power to control you by being the secret that causes you to either use or become depressed over allowing it to eat away at your self-esteem out of guilt and/or shame.

You should feel a tremendous amount of pride in yourself; change is a struggle and asking for help often are the obstacles that keep people shackled and complacent in miserable lives because they are too proud to admit to needing a loving, nurturing relationship.

Jun 02, 2010
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Simplistic
by: Evan

I feel that anything I say hear will only sound simplistic. Cold text makes it difficult for me to convey understanding let alone empathy.

I don't know what you have tried in the past. To me it seems like you have a crying child inside you who needs to be comforted. My guess is that it feels like there isn't enough comfort in the world. In my experience people do find (often after a few years) that the comfort does help - we never get it from those we wanted it from at the time but we can get it from others and give it to ourselves.

This means finding a little thing the child inside us wants and then giving it to them - riding bikes, flying kites, hugs, favourite foods. It is OK to start small. That way we don't frighten ourselves. Then we move on to the next small thing. If it takes a month then in a year we have a dozen things. In a month we can feel different - not great all the time. And knowing that we have made a small difference we can feel that we can do it again.

I hope this helps.

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This information is not a substitute for professional evaluation and/or treatment. Reading the information contained here may trigger strong emotional reactions. If you have an emergency, call 911, other local emergency contact, your local emergency room, or law enforcement agency.