I know it's wrong but my heart just breaks for her.

by Angel
(Colo spring united states)

I know it's wrong but my heart just breaks for her. I have a 23 real daughter she was born when I was 15. I stayed with my parents and they helped me with her while I finish school. I then met a man and married him and had two children with him and divorced. My daughter has always been first she was spoiled by my parents she was spoiled by my whole family. My family is very wealthy. I became disabled shortly after my divorce and I lived at home with my parents and my daughter.

My daughter graduated high school top of her class excelled in everything. She met this man or guy and since my daughter has become someone I don't know. He has lived with me and not worked he lived with my father and not worked. She was attending college and ended up losing her scholarship. She lost her scholarship because my parents both died unexpectedly one right after the other. That's where the problems began. My siblings stepped in as well and helped her get her own place and get her started. She became pregnant with my grandson shortly after death my parents. A lot of emotions a lot of heartbreak so this little boy is A God send to us.

I understand she's in a domestic relationship . He has her ask for money from us he has her lying for him. My daughter normally is not like this and I understand a lot of it has to do with the domestic violence. I was in a very bad domestic relationship with her father, he ended up going to prison for many years and did not get released until she was 15. She does have a relationship with him and he's doing really well and has tried to help.

I know that she uses me and I probably make excuses for her saying that he makes her do those things. However I see her pain. She had an house full of furniture she had a car that was completely paid for his name wasn't on the title so he wanted to trade hers in on a different vehicle to put both of their names on it. In doing that and not having a job to pay the loan they had their car repossessed. They're only car.

My grandson has asthma and They need a vehicle to take him to the doctor. I did not purchase them when I let them use one of ours within a week the windshield was busted out the taillight have been broke. They always run it out of gas and we have to go put gas in it.

I tried the Toughlove thing my daughter was going back-and-forth to a different sound to get her nursing certificate so she could start working at a different place she had been watching her friends children in her home and also cleaning in the evenings for her boyfriend's mother to get money. He doesn't work has only held a job for maybe two months he drinks he smokes marijuana daily he'll smoke marijuana with his son in the room. I cannot call CPS on my child she's a good mom and hear CPS won't do anything over marijuana.

When my daughter was going to nursing classes her son was sick her boyfriend didn't have a phone or a car. His mother went to check on him and the baby in the baby needed to go to the hospital because he was severely sick with RSV. Since then I feel guilty if I say no. I know my daughter without this boyfriend, he tells her he will commit suicide if she leaves he tells her that her son will grow up like he did if he doesn't be in his life. My daughter is a kind person with a heart of gold and it hurts to have to say no to her because she is working she's trying she just needs to get rid of him.

My siblings have ousted him and because of that they want nothing to do with her until she is done with him I am disabled I cannot afford to continuously pay their bills her dad is done he doesn't have an emotional attachment to her it does not bother him to see her hurt and I if you only person she has unstuck. My husband is amazing with about this however it came to the point where she has to see because we cannot afford it. If I don't help out he takes the baby from me. He makes her lie to me about why.

She really sees it as my family is just toxic that they don't like this guy. They don't like him because he has never provided a thing for my child or his son but he wants all the benefits of having them. He has told people that he is with her for the money. They did blow through $60,000 Within a year and have nothing to show for it the money was given to my daughter for my dad upon his death along with a trust fund however the trustee is my siblings and it's at their discretion they do not feel it's good to provide so she does not have the benefits of that.

I don't understand why she would want to live like this she wasn't raised to be dirty she wasn't raised to be OK with the things that he does to her. I know she's not happy I don't know where to draw the line. I've offered her to move home with my grandson to start over she won't leave him.

I love her more than anything in the world. I know my parents would think it's enough that I needed to stop, so she can fall my question is how far is she going to follow it is she going to lose my grandson I disabled I don't know that the state would give me him. There is no reason saying I couldn't have him other than my disability. I'm stuck. She lets him drive our vehicle all over town if my husband has completely had it with him. If they do gas they don't bother to tell us they ran it out of gas and leaves run the side of the road. Knowing that my husband has to go get it put gas in it and we're not going to take it away because the baby. I did not give this vehicle for them to use so he could run around all day, I want to take it away from him but not my daughter but my daughter just let him take it.

What does one do in a situation like this because emotionally I'm spent I haven't even had time to deal with my parents death because I'm constantly helping her or I'm constantly trying to make sure that she's not hurt. There's a long line between the domestic abuse and her abusing and using us but where is that line.

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Jan 10, 2017
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I feel your pain
by: Mary

I have had a similar experience with my daughter. One day I visited her and she told me how he made her feel really low, and she cried. I told her that she don't have to live that way, and that there are a lot of single parents and not to take that kind of treatment from anyone. I told her that I love her and my grandkids more than anything in the world but that I am stepping aside because I couldn't deal with him taking advantage of all of us. She eventually kicked him to the curb. She is struggling to make it on her own but is happier.

Your daughter knows that you and your family will be there to pull her out of their problems, maybe its time you let her live her own life and take responsibility for how her life and her child's life is going to turn out. It has to happen eventually anyway because we will all get too old and hopefully pass on before our children does. They have to be able to be responsible for their own lives then.

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