I fear he doesn't really love me

by LH
(Columbus, Ohio)

I am in a relationship with a man whom I love very deeply. I am certain that this is my first actual love relationship. My ex husband I married because he was the only person who had ever said he loved me and he asked.

I have problems with jealousy and perception. I think that the man I am living with now is going to behave the same way all the men I have dated in the past.

I went to and am still going to therapy for the issues of abandonment, emotional neglect as a child and I am a recovering addict/alcoholic (11 years).

The big issue right now is he does not act as if he is attracted to me any longer.
Our sex life has become 3 minutes of his getting off and me lying there completely frustrated once a week.

He works odd hours during the week and its as if sex is his Saturday night chore.

I used to gain all of my worth through sex. If the guy wanted me and said it I was hooked. If he doesn't then its because I am NOT ENOUGH.

Everything comes back to me feeling as if I am not enough. Good enough, sexy enough, exciting enough, young enough. etc...you get the point.

I am now 47 and I am thin and have a decent figure. The one thing that I hate is my D cup breasts no longer looking like they used to.
When he doesn't really give a shit if I reach orgasm or not I feel as if I don't matter. AGAIN.

I tried spicing things up once and bought lingerie that is more revealing than what I usually wear, (he pointed out what kind of thing he liked, from Fredericks and very self consciously wore it when it arrived and he asked for a rain check.

I have never worn that piece of lingerie again.
I almost always initiate sex with him.

I AM JUST TIRED OF NOT BEING WANTED.

Other than our sex life everything else we do wonderfully well together.
Should I just accept the declining sex life which he seems perfectly content with since I have finally met someone who will put up with me?

LH

Click here to post comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Marriage & Relationships Forum.