I don't love him, but I like him
Here's the thing....what thing, I don't know except when it comes to love I always thought there should be a spark; something more than sex. A commonality. I was married for 23 plus years and we are legally separated for two years. We live apart. Living alone was extremely difficult the first year. Financially, my life is getting worse, but emotionally I have a strong sense of place and who I am. At first I reevaluated what home means to me, and I can say for sure that I like living alone, and I like myself. All I need is money and my life would become ultimately better everyday. I have that somewhat, especially from this new man in my life who I started dating last November and who cares about me very much. He loves me, so he says and I have no reason to doubt him. It's just that I don't love him, at least not in the same way he loves me. I like him very much. We have fun, but I don't LOVE him. I like that he goes home to his place and vice versa. I like to feel love and give love and at the same time, LoL but I don't always feel love and I don't always want to give love. In fact, I have come to the conclusion that I may be better loving multiple people, all whom I see at different times and always go home with the plan to maybe see so and so again, if I feel like it. So, here is the problem I think. To survive I have become quite good at living in the now and I don't worry about my future cause I don't see the point in stressing out. I need food and a job, a car and clothes...friends and sooner or later life is going to turn out the way it will and meanwhile my objective is to live it to the fullest cause one day the rug may be pulled out from under me and then what will I do? So, I figure don't get to involved and avoid trouble. Now, my friend thinks I'm scared and that I have relationship issues. He thinks I think too much and I'm afraid of love. I've told him I don't love him and that I won't commit to being exclusive, but he says, "WHy not?" He intends on sticking by me and hasn't left yet to be with someone else. So, my question is do I have to love him? Can I just stay in like with him and if someone were to come along who I feel passionate about I will just move on with him. Am I being foolish? Love is a feeling right and it's good to feel love, but do I have to commit? SHould I become a mormon have multiple husbands??