How to help my 6 yr old
Hi, I am a mother of a 6 and 3 yr old. I have just discovered the concept of toxic shame. I had Postpartum Depression and anxiety and I am worried I have wounded my 6 yr old. I would get very frustrated with him and yell at him. I did not name call, or compare, or anything like that but I would say things like "why do you always do this?" He has been very oppositional recently and anxious.
Is it too late to help him heal? I think I have to be gentle, set limits but not get angry with him, listen to his upset and acknowledge his feelings, spend 1-1 time with him, let him know I love him, if he does something wrong tell him the behavior is not ok but he is. Are there other things I should be doing?
I think I just recognized my own toxic shame from my father and possibly mother. My father was an alcoholic who would rage (not usually at us) and my mother was self deprecating and gave guilt trips. I think I will need to do work on myself too. I am just worried about my child right now though.