How to change things . .

by Bill
(Harrisburg, PA)

My step-son is bipolar and he has a volatile temper. If you disagree with him or try to ask him what caused his present depression state of mind he blows up. A huge part of the problem rests with his mother, she is constantly trying to do things for him, like bring his breakfast in bed, tea when ever he asks for it, clean his room, bail him out financially, the list seemingly is endless. Since his friend committed suicide last year he has tried to cut himself, arms, wrists etc. For the last 11 months, I have not said anything about his behavior, being as calm as I can when everything inside me wanted to tell him to straighten up, that he was wrong to basically demand the things he does. Last night his mom said to me that I do not understand what's going on with him. I do, I've been walking this walk with my wife every step of the way.

Yesterday and last night he was in his usual negative state and blew up at me when I asked what caused how he presently feels. I had to leave the house before I said something I would regret. He is nineteen years old.

How can I help my wife see that what she is doing is enabling behavior and that she needs to tell him to stand on his own two feet.