How do I help my son

I have just read part 1 of the Iceberg and it has made me believe what I already thought was going on for my 19 year old son. He is a lovely boy who is rather quiet and with hindsight I realize he has always been an introvert born into a family of extroverts.

He has 2 older sisters. My son is sensitive, highly intelligent, gifted musically, a great reader and has a beautiful nature. I love him very much but am afraid that I have been instrumental in his current state of depression and feelings of being stuck and lost.

When my children were younger, although I considered myself a good mother who provided well for my children, I now realize that although I was meeting physical needs etc I was not meeting his deepest needs. I was verbally abusive at times when he put on weight. I couldn't understand him and told him that on several occasions.

I hate to think of all the cruel and hurtful things. I have apologized to him in recent years and hope he realizes that if I could go back I would change things. He says it's fine and I know he loves me but I also think he needs to get some professional help to get out of the depression.

I feel so responsible but just don't know what to do. I could go on for ever here but suppose I am just asking how best I can encourage him to speak with a counselor who can help when he feels unable to talk to anyone but me about how he is feeling.

Jacki