Heroin Addiction 2
My son's father is a heroin addict. He injects needles in his arm. I got a lock that could not be picked so he would not re-enter my home again. This was quite some time ago. I enabled him to continue using by giving him a safety net. He is in the hospital now because he has low platelets and was bleeding from the inside of his mouth and body. His urine was even blood. He is stabilized now with platelet transfusions.
I know him for 10 years and he first became dependent on oxycotin 4 years ago at work. A co-worker gave it to him. He swallowed the pill first then started snorting it. I enabled him to continue by providing him with what he needed: food, home, money, etc.
My son is 9 now and I am very happy his father is gone. I tell my son that his father needs to heal fully to be the person he was put on this earth to be and that I cannot help him anymore because I only blocked his path of growth. He blames everyone and so now he has to take responsibility for himself and look a bit deeper into his wounded soul to figure out what he needs to do to be whole again.
The hospital is the perfect place for him to be. He doesn't think so because he is craving. At first I felt very guilty for letting him go. Now I know I did the right thing because he would never heal with me. We were co-dependent.
My brother once told me to look at the big picture, not the little, immediate one. I kept looking at the picture in front of me and couldn't see that his growth cycle had to occur without me so he has no one to blame. My growth cycle as well.
I believe deep in my heart now that he has the strength to heal. He never showed me weakness, only for this drug. I do feel bad for my son at times but I also feel why feel sad when you can be happy. Its all about the response to things not the situation.
I've learned a lot. I also learned to be happy with what I have and not want what I do not have. Everyday has become a better day. My eyes are wide open now and I see things clearer. My son misses his father and that ok. His father can heal and become a much better person and then return into his life.