help!i have a 30 year old bipolar son thats an addictand im scared to evict him

hi everyone . i have a 30 year old bipolar son that is an addict and is unable to work but hasnt gotten disability yat and im afraid to evict him because i beleive that he isnt able to take care of himself. if he could get s.s. disability i would evict him because he could pay for his own place to live at least . what should i do . we have applied for s.s. disability but he was denied. hes been in and out of mental hospitals and rehab programs .im so fed up this has been going on since he was 18. im also afraid to evict him because hes bipolar and he gets agressive and violent especially when hes drinking or drugging . right now hes in the mental hospital because he wouldnt take his meds and a few days later he tried sniffing bathsalts synthetic meth and he went nuts so i had him committed. im asking the judge tommorow to send him to black mountain hes on mental probation . i think this is the last thing i can do for him . i know hes probably going to jail in the near future because hes in total denial about his sickness and his addictions. well i just spilled out my guts . HELP!!!!!!!

Comments for help!i have a 30 year old bipolar son thats an addictand im scared to evict him

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Jun 23, 2017
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Restraining order
by: Don Carter

If you live in the USA and he is of age, you can go to your local courthouse and file for a restraining order. This would prohibit him from coming within a certain distance of you or your property. If he violates it then he could be put in jail for a few days or weeks depending on his circumstances.

Blessings and Best Wishes,
Don

Jun 17, 2017
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Help
by: Anonymous

I too have an adult son with BP he is verbally abusive and denies being sick he does not want to go to treatment and refuses to take Ned's! He drinks and smokes pot He has literally kicked me out of my home, he says it's his! I need to get him out but don't know how I cannot evict Him for he is not a tenant or can I? I need him out of my home and hopefully in treatment! Any advice...I am desperate!

May 22, 2017
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To the March 26 2017 poster from Calif.
by: Anonymous

I fee for you and I have posted on here prior.
Yes, love with detachment is the way and a often a long path.

RE you going broke. Your son is an adult and you need not support him. If he is low income himself and can get in the county system. For my son, and many others being in the system is very helpful and not a cure but the best direction.

Peace, Kali

May 22, 2017
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Detach with love
by: Anonymous

My daughter is also struggling with heroin addiction for 10 years. I've lost my entire pension and am still paying back the IRS. Nar Anon was life changing for me. I still have a lot of heartache but I continue to pray daily and take care of myself. It's called detachment with love. Please try and get to either an alanon or Naranon meeting and keep going. You need support and kindred spirits.


Mar 26, 2017
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26 yr old son
by: Anonymous

Hi, my son has Bi Polar also. He's been in 7 rehabs since he was 18, 4 years in sober living, lots of Psychologists and psychiatrists, 12 step meetings 5 times a week, takes medications including lamictal, latuda, trintellix and suboxone. He stays on the meds as long as I have him in outpatient or sober living where they watch him take them. He still has relapsed on this combo and will still desire heroine. He's not violent and will go to rehab but it's not a cure. Ive kicked him out and asked him to get help and he will, but Once the depression hits he's at Risk of a relapse. I'm going broke trying to keep him in outpatient and sober living. No help from disability or anyone for that matter. I pray to God and so far my resources haven't run dry yet. I wish there was a long term living for people with bi polar that can help them. It's not easy or for the faint of heart. I've accepted that he'll need my help and that he's trying the best he can to feel better.

Jan 24, 2017
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42 Year Old Son
by: Tom

My wife and I have been regulars at Families Anonymous for several
years. We have three children but one is an addict and he lives with us. We've been rescuing him since he was a teenager. He has become a manic depressive and it is brutal to watch that and his addiction fester in our home. Yet, we love him and have not been able to evict him. We're afraid of what will happen, and, of course, we have no power over that. Only he does.

We live in southern California and there are county programs. However, most are for homeless or ex felons. Getting an adult son or daughter out of your home is extremely difficult. Find your serenity, find a way to the peace you desire. There must be a way but - no pain, no gain. Thank you






Jan 02, 2017
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Update from June 2015 post
by: Anonymous

My son is now 26- has a 1 year old daughter that lives with her mother down the road from us- he is a terrific dad. We have been in our new home for over 1 year now- separate living quarters with own entrance but entrance to the house that I have had to secure due to drunken fueled rages- It was a rough road with the initial move- new County new police. Out here alcohol became the vice that turned him into a demon- many smashed holes in walls and doors but finally a police call that the response was heart wrenching- 4 officers showed up, in front of my eyes had him face down cuffed and on the ground and proceeded to beat the hell out of him. He was finally taken to jail and booked on many felony counts (none close to what even transpired). After a lot of anger and multiple court hearings and continuances I had to remember what my ultimate goal was and that was to force him into treatment. Luckily the 6 days I left him in jail were enough for him to know he never wanted to go back there- the DA offered "mental health court". 3 years probation, guilty plea to 2 felony charges (holds 8 year prison sentence if he violates), weekly therapy, psychiatry appts, group 2 times per week, AA meetings and random drug testing. I finally have my son back- almost- he has been sober for 2 months and complying with everything- as scary as things got I would never give up- he literally became someone I did not know- I was scared-his biggest issues right now though is being okay with happiness and dealing with life and the new things and feelings he experiences- I am grateful to God to give him another chance- everyone needs their family- I wish there were more services in other areas to help the mentally ill- but for now we are heading in the right direction- I pray for us, all that are left to deal alone with our loved ones- I wish I had the answers for all of the helpless mothers that come to my ER or call my ER looking for their sons or daughters- I truly do- prayers are all we have❤️

Jan 02, 2017
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Same story, different person
by: Anonymous

Oh, my gosh, I'm in the exact same position as everyone who's posting. My son is 20. He's BP or something, I'm not sure what. He's addicted to marijuana. I know most people don't believe you can be addicted, but trust me, you can. He smokes NON-STOP. It's a mania. By the middle or end of each day, he's talking like a lunatic. His anger is hair trigger. He's attacked me I don't know how many times. I've called the police on him and last time, the police basically told me not to call them again because I hadn't done what they'd told me to do the last time they were in my home, which was to get him evicted. Do they know how hard it is to evict your son, your little boy? They haven't a clue!! My son is planning to return to college next week (after having been kicked out for violence involving breaking furniture and bottles twice before). Nothing has changed and so it won't work. Then he tells me he's planning to come home each weekend (if he ever gets a place to live), so that he can smoke but in reality, he can't go a day without it. Ayyyaaayayyy!! And I can't tell him no, he can't come home, or there will be hell for me to pay. It's a horrible way of living. I'm nothing but a worried empty shell.

Aug 23, 2016
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Support to all on here
by: Anonymous

So thankful for this support group. I direct love to my son every day, but currently I visit him only when his is in a psych ward (he averages apx. once a month of that when not in jail). I was enabling so although I miss hanging out with him, it would always end up circling. SO, until he is compliant with case management, lifestyle, etc...I do not drive him around, lend money, etc. The main things is I love him and will never give up on him. He needs the system and this is actually better for him. I totally feel with everyone on here.
My son is 29: bipolar, anxiety, PTSD, ADD +++ and substance abuse, fights, unhealthy lifestyle too.
Support your way people. And, YES, allowing someone to live with you and/or supporting them is not the way to save them.
Peace,Kali

Aug 23, 2016
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minr too
by: Anonymous

Mine to hes 33 going to be evicted i live miles awsy

Aug 04, 2016
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Dual diagnosed 29 year old son
by: Anonymous

I just kicked out my 29 year old son who is bipolar and an active heroin addict, using once again. He has been to jail, rehabs, overdosed at least twice and was fired numerous times from jobs. I am now retired and not going to spend my final years chasing him and trying to fix him, even though I know I cannot. He also refuses to take bipolar medication and often sells his suboxone for heroin. I told him I love him but he no longer can live in my house nor will he return. He can go to a homeless shelter and I gave him s list . I do pay for his health care insurance but that is all. I pray God will guide him but I know it can be done, others have gotten clean and lead productive lives. He is the only one who can guide his own destiny. Everyone's story is what I have experienced but all of us deserve a peaceful life, including parents of addicts who are also bipolar.

Ksren

May 08, 2016
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30 year old child, drug addict, making my life HELL!
by: Cathy

HELP, in WA state. How do I evict son when he doesn't have rental agreement? He's mentally ill & drug addict.

WA lawyer please advise. Cathyataylor@comcast.net

Mar 21, 2016
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Kicking out 20 yr old
by: Worst mom

My son is 20. Is bipolar and using meth and marijuana but no psych meds at all.he is verbally abusive angry and extremely paranoid.Tonight he was violent for no reason. Took of in my vehicle after he swallowed a bottle of pills.police finally caught up with him and took him away. This type of thing has happened many time with no one helping. He refuses to see a psychiatrist or take meds. I don't want him back in my home. It's hard tho because he's always threatening to kill himself also.when he gets out of the psych ward or jail he will have to go to the homeless shelter. I can't do it anymore.

Jan 31, 2016
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RE: the 50 year -old son
by: Kali

To the loving lady with the 50 year-old son:

You love your son with all our heart, yes, I agree it would be better if there were facilities for your son....but I do not agree that his life or death is dependent on whether he stay with you.

I suggest consider this: "how do I best serve myself, my love for self, and my love for my son?"
The answer is in your gut.
Peace to you.

Jan 31, 2016
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Bi Polar with Alcohol Addiction
by: Diane

Reading these comments I know I am not the only one. I have a 50 yr old son, who is Bi Polar and drinks. When he drinks he disturbs the whole house. He plays loud music, beats on the floor and walls with a stick. He also calls up people, like 911 or the jail and threatens and speaks ugly things to them. He used his cell last night, but they traced him to my home from the pings. Law came out and told him to stop, He went back in and did it again, Law came out and told him this was sec. time if she came out again she would arrest him, He doesn't care, Is on probation for fictitious 911 calls from previous court session. Just got out of involuntary committment, they gave his a shot to stabalize him, seems the shot did make him feel better, but then he went and bought booze and started it again, not to mention he sits in room and shouts throughout all this. Have talked with his mental health therapists. who always say throw him out. I would have to go and pay 300 dollars and then court hearing etc I am 74 and it's got to where it's all so painful the processes to do things I have no help in my home or husband to help. There are no shelters in this small town, their are those homes but one has to agree to live in them. There is no system in place for people like this to be declared mentally unable to comply and take care of themselves, The law has been to my house so much all the Deputies no us by name. Sometimes he calls them, I have noticed that when I am not in the house he doesn't do these things, but does drink, when I am home he goes at it. I have been told so many times throw him out, but then one doctor told me he will probably die out there. Where there used to be facilities to committ people with problems like this and work with them they are no more. Therefor they are put on society meaning family members to take care of them. When he is alright he is the nicest person around.

Jan 08, 2016
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do not know what to do
by: Anonymous

I also have a 30 year old bi-polar and addicted. My husband just retired and things have gotten a lot worse. I also cannot take it any longer. He receives SSI disability. But it is not enough to move out. He also has no friends. So if I evict him he will end up on the streets.

Aug 24, 2015
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Drug Addict son
by: dogcrazylady

Well just wanted to let everyone know the "no" progress we are making. I posted a comment back in Feb of this year and really tried to stick to my guns as far as boundaries and enabling but I just keep sliding back. My son has discovered a new form of slow death called Flakka. Its really bad here in Florida and it has gotten him into trouble time and time again and at the moment he is currently in jail. Reason... he hit me while trying to force his way into my home and my husband called the police-the police have been called to our home over the past several months at least 4 times. He wants me to not press charges so that he doesn't have another mark on his record and I don't know what to do. So many times he comes over to our home and we cannot get rid of him as he is homeless and just doesn't leave-then he does drugs and the cycle starts again...what would you do..he says he is moving to NY, but talk is cheap..

Aug 22, 2015
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Wife and I are scared of our 27 year old addicted son
by: Anonymous

Please help. Our son has been in jail many times for drugs and stealing. He has been in prison two times. He is a heroin addict. He has stollen thousands of dollars from us. When he got out of prison this last time we let him come back home to try an help him get his life back together. He seem to do ok for a few months but then he went right back to using again. He was trying symboxin for a while but that did not last. He stays up for days at a time now thinking people are after him. He keeps asking me for my guns and something to protect himself. There is nobody after him and I can't convince him otherwise. We are raising two of our grandsons from one of our daughters. We are scarred for our grandsons and for ourselves. I am going to try to take him to a shelter tomorrow so please pray for us. No one should have to live like this. All we want is a little peace in our family. It is so hard when they start crying begging to stay and saying how can you do this to me.

Jul 23, 2015
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Same story
by: Luzingtime

After reading the previous posts at least I know I am not alone. My son is also 30 yrs old, bipolar, raging temper, doesn't work etc etc. In addition my husband (who is 65 is severely diabetic, is also bipolar, raging temper & dementia. I took my son in off the street, hungry, insect bites, dirty. ..one more chance. That lasted 1 week. We went to the er on Father's day b/c he was going to kill himself. He laughed at the dr & said it was all a joke. We went home to the 2 of them yelling, cussing & hating. I have been taken to the ER twice with stroke like symptoms which turned out to be ptsd. I am 66 yrs old & work fulltime, am not allowed to see my grandson b/c my son is at home & is so psychotic & verbally abusive. My son has said the greatest day of his life will be if I get cancer & die a slow, painful death like my mother did. I must get the strength to evict him but am so alone b/c my husband is not much better. He needs to be in assisted living but we cannot afford that so I have to be his caregiver. I have gone to alanon many times but still feel so alone. I don't know how I can do all this with both of them the way they are.

Jun 20, 2015
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To Anonymous
by: Kali

I suggest you see your love for your son as the grounding for this. I do not aspire to "tough love." Love is not tough, but some actions with love ones are extremely tough. So your heart and gut know what you need to do. Even if your son lives with you, you cannot protect him from really bad stuff happening. If he does not live with you, you will still think about him and be bonded, and it will take some time to start to have your own true feelings again.
RE restraining order: I highly suggest you hire an attorney or get a legal advocate to go with you-really an attorney is better even though expensive. From direct experience: I was denied a restraining order from a judge re an ex-boyfriend...went back with an attorney, got the order, and by that time police had started a stalking case because they had been called in so many times.
So, I just found out yesterday from his case-managers' email that my son was "found" at *** hospital, psych ward...the difference is that this time (we chatted on the phone three days prior), I did not know he was missing. So, the cycle continues, but my son is empowered by my NOT taking on his issues as my own.

Jun 19, 2015
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25 year old son BP and everything else In the DSM topped with drug addiction(anything mind altering addicted better sums it up)
by: Anonymous

I read these comments after again the police leave my house not able to do a thing! My son has become cunning and very good at the playing the game these days! Hosp since age 13 on SS and just plain old exhausting me! I am done! I have said it may times before though- do I mean it? I have to I tell myself (im a licensed clinician for Gods sake!) I know better! But o also know what happens to "his type" without support- can I bare the possible outcome I ask myself?
When will enough be enough!

I pray for all of us and myself to find the strength to be strong and for our sick adult children to be ok-
I am moving in a month to a home I build with him in mind with his own private entrance so I always know where he is and that he is ok- but is he ok? I know I'm not okay?
Very tough decision officers suggested when I move I file a restraining order on him- can I? Who would have thought it would have to come to this- he has all the help he needs if he was just open to it! I need to take my life back!

Jun 18, 2015
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Been there....still there
by: Anonymous

I feel for you. You have enabled your son for many years, but I suggest you go in the direction of changing this, even though it will be extremely difficult. Letting go of "only if" thinking and doing (ie; in your case, you would evict him if he had disability) is the first step toward a new way, if you choose.
I went on this site a few years ago, and now my son, age 28, bi-polar, defiant, violent when drunk, self-hurting choices, dangerously impulsive behavior, etc...is residing in shelters, crashing at random "friends" places, etc... EVEN THOUGH he has a place. He has a place because he has disability: refuses to return because it was broken into and another "friend" urinated and defecated on the floor...SO, in the last 7 years my son has had 18 residences not counting that apx. 30% of that time was spend in half-ways houses, re-hab places, and shelters. I do see my son, and I love him, but I see now that all that rescuing did not help him at all, it may have even delayed his path.
Peace and support to you!
Kali

Jun 16, 2015
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Scared, Confused and Heartbroken
by: Anonymous

My son is 34 diagnosed when he was 28 with bipolar. His disease has progressively gotten worse since then. Also addicted to alcohol, also progressively getting worse. He refuses to quit drinking or get the help. Does not believe that is his problem, just bp. Been in and out of jail (Texas, NJ, and PA); in and out of hospitals (psyche wards) several times, been homeless (I end up giving in and helping), tried alcohol rehab for a mere 2 weeks then sober for 3 months in 2010. Lost his dream job as trader in NYC in 2009 (which started the spiral), been downhill since...lost numerous relationships, friends, very lonely. But refuses to see the common denominator that has caused him so much pain and trouble. Accepts he is bipolar but not that he is alcoholic first. Takes meds the way he should unless knows he's going out drinking. He has a job (minimal pay), his own place, had a car, but car taken from him (because he was drinking and driving), one of our rules when his dad helped him buy it (you drive after drinking we take it back) walks to work, spends entire paycheck as soon as paid on going out to bars etc on the weekend...then no $$ till next pay...does get rent paid, behind sometimes, other bills are behind and he doesn't put food in the house, prefers to eat out. I end up giving him food or $ for food but in essence I am paying for his habit. Recently called ambulance went to hospital (after a drinking binge) but wouldn't stay. Released and got to work...now his account is in the negative and thinks I should help him. It just keeps going round and round but I don't want to see him lose his apartment or not have $$ for food! Heartbroken!!

Feb 15, 2015
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your son
by: Kali

It is very hard to change patterns, but for your son's sake, your sake, your husband's sake, and the sake of others you have to do so!

It is possible your son will be homeless, but things will only get worse if you allow him into your home. His stuff is not your issue.
Your son needs to change, he may do this, he may not. Either way, you are enabling and that makes it worse! I suggest do not even answer his phone calls, change your number if needed.
This is extremely hard to do... I know I have been there!
You do not know your own strength, but you CAN do this....you know what you must do.

Peace, and positive energy, Kali.

Feb 14, 2015
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Bi Polar son and addict
by: At the end of my rope

I was so glad to find this site today. Suffered 5 hrs of torment (8pm-1am)this morning and I am worn out-my son is 32yrs old and has been a drug addict since 16. I have always set boundaries and then never follow thru-he has almost cost me my marriage to his father. He moved to TN for approx 2 weeks before making his way back to FL with our help of course(how stupid)and we gave him an ultimatum many times that he needed to move out over the past several years.The police have been to our home numerous times because of domestic issues with him and told us once he is gone to not let him back in We have a tiny house and my dad (85yrs)lives with us now that his grandma passed.He is bipolar and does drugs although he will tell you he does not. He is paranoid and walks around the house at night not sleeping for days with a knife in his hand thinking he needs to defend himself. After he got back from TN we allowed him a few days to find someplace to live and he did not and even brought in a friend who also does drugs into our home-when he was out last week-we collected all his things and put them on the front porch and told him he is no longer welcome-we even had to call the police-he called me begging me for help as he has some sort of infection in his leg (no one seems to know) and needed medicine so I agreed to help with that-said he was staying with a friend and they are all clean(yea right)anyway went to help him last night-he got in my car and asked to go to his storage unit which I pay for but was the only way to get everything out of my home-he proceeded to put a bag of clothing and some stereo equipment in and then told me that I need to put it in my home-I've learned the game-if his belongings are in my home I cannot deny him entry-I need to evict him-I don't have the $200 to formally evict him-so stuff is in my car-I will drop off or have him pick up tonight at a location not near my home-I am actually starting to hate my own child-sorry for the rambling but I am so frustrated but happy I found this site as it is good to know I am not alone-

Aug 12, 2014
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Backup Your Boundaries...
by: Don Carter

Hello all,

One of the most loving things you can do for yourself and your family member is to "give your boundaries teeth."

Setting boundaries is great, as far as it goes. But you can count on the other party testing out those boundaries to see if you mean it. If you want them to be effective, you must reinforce them with a natural consequence equal to the violation - let the punishment fit the crime, so to speak. Let the situation dictate "what to do" by that standard.

In this case, when things get to the point where you are at the end of your rope and not willing to play the game anymore, you can get a restraining order, at least in America (and I assume most other countries.)

Take a trip to the courthouse and ask for information on how to file the paperwork. When it gets processed the authorities will come and serve the paperwork. A hearing will take place and your family member will not be able to come within a certain distance or even attempt to contact you in anyway at the risk of going to jail.

This is a loving thing to do because NOT to do it and continuing to let their out-of-control behavior stand is enabling. A restraining order is a NATURAL consequence of out-of-control behavior.

Turn him/her over to a Higher Power and let go.

Hope this helps someone,
Don

Aug 12, 2014
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I too need help
by: Anonymous

I know exactly what you are going through, because I have an out of control 27 yeat old son living with me. He is also an alcoholic amonst other addictions. He also has bipolar amonst other mental issues. He just started getting his SSI disability about a year ago. But he refuses to use any of the money to help with any bills or anything.he has been in and out of jail since he was 13. I would hate for him to end up in prison one day. And he is unable yo make it on his own. But I am totally exhausted from his anticks. He has always had me and his grandmother and aunt, but he is so disrespectful to us. He refuses to help me around the house. I am going through chemotherapy right now trying to fight breast cancer. And its hard trying dto deal with him as well. What can we do?

Jan 24, 2014
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To help
by: Anonymous

I totally feel for you...my son is 27...he is also bipolar.. non-compliant with meds..violent when drinks alcohol..etc...and has other mental health problems...THIS IS SO HARD AND SAD AND HEART BREAKING FO US MOTHERS!!! We love our children, and always will..YOU cannot keep allowing yourself to suffer and you must stop enabling your son.

As for you: I suggest you find someone, a program...that can help your son get SSI...my son does have SSI..it's all about playing the system.

Peace to you.
Kali.

Jan 24, 2014
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best of luck
by: Anonymous

I feel for you , the strains you are going through isn't your fault or your sons.you are trying your best and it is all you can do


Jan 23, 2014
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I am an enabler
by: Anonymous

My son is 31,bi-polar and addicted to prescription pain meds and marijuana(legal). We don't allow him to live with us but we have enabled him by paying rent for him to basically keep him away from us. We also give him money for food and I'm sure he uses it
to buy more pot. He plays on my sympathy and it works. It's amazing how he can manipulate me. I have tried several times to cut him off but I cave in. I need to be able to stand firm. When you love someone it's hard to turn your back on them.


Jan 10, 2014
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I UNderstand
by: Brian Griffiths

I too have a 30+ bipolar son, to write those words is more difficult than anyone can imagine.

The first thought that comes into my mind is, is it my fault what did I do wrong when raising him it must be my fault!

The times he has fell out with others over the most trivial thing and the times I have thought it must be my fault are unbelievable.

I know the pain I suffer and the hoplessness of trying to help the son I love. It seems to me from reading these pages I am not alone and neither are you people. I wish you all strength in your struggles. God be with you all

Oct 12, 2013
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my son 32 has bp
by: Anonymous

yes I to have a bip son 32 kicked him out many times this is the last time he was an alcoholic . he nearly died as his pancreas nearly stoped. he stopped drinking as he at least new it would kill him . but he has gone on to prescription pills this has also caused a disease in his stomach this has sent him into a more manic state as he was basically a womanising alcoholic it killed his social life he is on ss he gambles I never get any money I pay for everything , caught him twice going through my clothes looking for id for payday lenders told him I have had enough as it is ruining my health told him to leave he became violent and smashed up some furniture I had to call the police to take him I just hope the courts can help him I do love him but just cant take it anymore . I really do feel for any one with bp in their family .

Mar 18, 2013
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Glad I found this-me too!
by: Kali

I have been enabling and circling regarding my 27-year-old bi-polar substance abusing son for years!

(As for living off SSI-you CAN do it...you get food stamps, and there just isn't much money left-over...it is very tough.)

I have responded to his emergencies as they were my own....lent him lots of money, found housing because of his "emergencies," put up with abuse in my own house including his abuse toward my daughter, scaring my younger sons friends, destroying furniture, etc....

I keep cleaning up his apartments when his is kicked out, more chances, etc...

I do this because he is mentally ill....not just alcoholic-a mean violet drunk at that.

Well, today, I did something different: I trust it was the right thing, but it was very hard. I called the nurses at the psych ward, and told them I could not help find housing for him, that he definitely could not stay at my home, and that his sister and father will not let him in as well due to his prior violent behavior. He was kicked out of this apt. for smashing a TV, a desk, and several windows-with his bare hand. I told my son, Robert, that I also will not just "go get his stuff and put it in storage."

I love my son so much, so this is hard, but I am not helping him with doing the same things over and over.

I feel for all of you people! I really due...blessing and love energy to you.
Kali

May 29, 2012
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same boat
by: Anonymous

I am in the same boat too I have tried everything and all he says is I do care. He does get SSI but the waiting list is so long for a apartment that he can afford is is unreal. I dont know what to do I feel so gulity. I lose sleep every night it is unreal. My other half says to cut him off it is os hard to do.

Apr 24, 2012
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Brokenhearted Mom:32 yr old son dual diagnosis
by: Anonymous

My son is 32 & is what is called a dual diagnosis.He is bipolar & on drugs. He is out of control but swears he doesn't use drugs anymore and I know he's lying. He recently asked to move back home & we've tried that & it doesn't work.I told him I would help him find a good rehab facility & after I would help him find a place.I told him I would not be helping him if I let him move in & live for nothing but when he's ready to help himself I will be there for him.He cried & begged but I cannot let him live in my home & make the rest of the family deal with the pain that I live with everyday.But my husband & I help take care of 2 of his 3 children because he has never paid child support & it's not their fault he's not responsible.My heart is so broken to have to say no to him but my hope is that he will come to me in his dark hr & I will help guide him.I pray everynight that I did the right thing & I'm ready to get help for myself because I don't know how to deal with him anymore.

Mar 08, 2012
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Getting sick with them won't help anyone
by: Don

Hi!

If you try to "help" them when they don't want help you will end up getting so tangled up in THEIR problem that you lose touch with reality and join them in their delusions of wellness.

Get in touch with your local or state mental health departments to find out what resources are available...then give them phone number to several important shelters, state funded treatment centers and non-profit recovery organizations. Then let them go...

Bi-polor disorder is manageable with proper treatment IF alcohol, drugs or other addictions are not in the picture -- if they are in the picture, that must be treated and stabilized in order to effectively treat the BPD.

If they refuse -- it is THEIR choice that brought on THEIR consequences. Let them live with their choices until they hit bottom and take steps to get well...then is the time to help (unless you are doing something for them that they should and could do for themselves).

Go to Alanon Family Groups in your area...go at least 6 times in a row before deciding if it will help. Enablers have just as much denial to work through as addicts do.

Take Care & keep coming back!
Don

Mar 07, 2012
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30 yr. old bipolar son
by: NO GUTS

I'M IN THE SAME BOAT,EXACTLY, SO HELP ME TOO.

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