Guilt Guilt Guilt
My adopted son is 39 1/2. on physical disability. he gets barely enough to get gas, meds and groceries, so i pay all his expenses as i never want to see him homeless. he's very talented, so because i wanted to help ease stress in his life in hopes of him getting better (congestive heart failure,lymphoma...etc) i live in another state. i've wired money, sent care packages UPS, bought him a car, pay his rent, insurance, cable, internet. he never calls to say hello or how he's coming along with his dr. visits, therapy, just calls or text when he has a crisis.
recently he needed money for gas and food. he asked if i could please send it a day sooner than what i said, if at all possible. i made it happen. i got a text that he meant to send to someone else. I was stunned. I had just left western union from sending him money. the text said::
"i am going to get money my mom just sent me, and yes, i am going to the weed house...why? do you want to roll with me?"
I have been helping my son for the past 3 years at the tune of over $1K per month. I even helped him get a dependable car all based on the reality that is is not well at ll, and i didn't want him to die, not being ale to get to the dr. or hospital...but i feel totally used after getting his text that wasn't meant for me. he never apologized, he just said he wasn't perfect, but he wasn't a criminal and that he's in pain day in and day out.
i am so tired....and because of him i am always broke and have ugh credit card debt, plus his car is in my name and he has suspended license, supposedly something from years ago, and not paying toll fees. this is a mess...i am a total enabler and now don't know where to draw the line without guilt because of his health.