I am the step mother of a near 26 year old heroin addict, his problems were already in play when I met my husband, at the time his son was not yet 4 years old. This child demonstrated extreme anger issues, inability to follow rules of any type which followed him throughout his life. In addition, laws were broken as time progressed and the serious nature of those broken laws increased tremendously.
Now, here we are, with an adult child that has drug addictions, continues to lie, cheat and do whatever he has to say and do to 'get out of his current situation' regardless of what that is. Both of his natural parents tend to lean in the same direction, especially my husband, pay the attorney; pay the bond; pay for the classes to appease the judge and not have 1 single expectation of the child with the problem. Pay those delinquent bills and no expectations of repayment.
I have learned a very hard lesson, no matter how much I love my husband, no matter how much I love my step son, the only person I can help through this is me. If my step son chooses to ruin his life and my husband chooses to not only allow his life to be ruined but actually encourages it by enabling, due to the actions of his son, then so be it.
I pray for each of them.