Gestalt Therapy Doesn't Seem to be Enough For Me

by DeeDee
(US)

I have a wonderful therapist and some of the Gestalt therapies have helped somewhat. However, in reading a "self help" book, recommended by my psychiatrist, talks about how no one, no matter how young you are (even as a newborn)... no one has ever had the power hurt you unless you let them.

Many ideas along this line and Gestalt theory states, "It's not the event that upsets a person, it's their reaction to the event." I'm sorry, but I have a hard time believing that the people in Haiti are crying and scared and in shock only because of how they view what the earthquake did to them.

I believe shoving this "theory" down people's throats can be very damaging to we who have suffered countless tortures. Encouraging self-blame for your view or feelings about an event beyond your control, such as the earthquake, rape, having been abused as a child. etc. is absolutely ridiculous.

Does am amoeba think "wow, that hurts when I bump into that spiney thing, but it only hurts because that's how I feel about it". Stimuli and reaction are still very, very ingrained in the primal part of the human brain.

This reminds me of the book called "The Secret" which is based on that thinking as well, in my opinion. For me, when I read this kind of junk I feel unbelievably insulted. Being told "I want to feel bad about my abusive childhood when even when I was nearly murdered" is hurtful and ignorant beyond belief.

In one paragraph of this book, one of the contributors says "The most important thing to know is that it is impossible to feel bad and at the same time having good thoughts". Apparently this contributor has never suffered for years with chronic clinical depression. I remember that almost all of the time I've had fun or a good time, the depression could still be felt in my gut, and yes I did have negative thoughts and positive thoughts at the same time.

Society has never been comfortable about mental and/or emotional illnesses. I think this is just another way for "normal" people to play "blame the victim" game. If anyone knows the truth about the "blame the victim" thing, then you know it's really about an unharmed person who blames victims because it is comforting and insulating them from their own fears, and pacifying themselves with that "couldn't happen to me".

Thanks for listening.