Really confused, lost, lost control, can't control, given up and then ready for battle. Think I have all the answers and then realize I don't have any answers. Talk way too much on the subject. It will be different THIS time, just one more time. can't figure out WHY a person makes self destructive choices and knows what the outcome will be 100% of the time. Always asking WHY. Really need to talk to a neutral person but It's hard. Feeling hopeless and lost in a sea with no rescue or land in site. Can't make my mind up. What to do What to do. Maybe this ,maybe that. Just maybe nothing at all. No return.