Finally recognizing abandonment as an issue

by Frank
(Sellersville, PA )

I am 55 years old but still feel like a 12 year frozen in my tracks like a deer in the headlights. I am able to function at my job (barely these days) but as more time goes by the weight of the Iceberg is wearing me down to useless rubble. After reading this article, I guess my ex wife was an externalizer and I the internalizer. We are divorced, I have the kids but feel utterly alone and unable and unworthy of a 'real' relationship.

My rationale I use to keep going is "It's too late for me, but if I can get my kids to adulthood and emotional sobriety before I die, at least my life will have meant something". This isn't working anymore either which is why I'm at this stupid web page pouring my abandonment issues (father left at 5, mom stayed drunk) into anonymity.

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Jun 02, 2011
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Good Job
by: Anonymous

You have begun the journey to freedom.Stay connected, as soon as we isolate we deny.

May 26, 2011
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I agree...Never too late!
by: Don

I am with you Malci!

It is never too late to have a happy childhood. It may seem overwhelming for a while, but when you find a group of people who know the score and stick with them you will make it over the hump in no time (seems like that AFTER you get over the hump).

The oldest client I have introduced to recovery was 81 years old...and he LOVED it once he got over that initial hump which can take several months. After the hump there will still be bumps, but it gets better and better!!

Besides...would you rather spend the next 30 to 40 years stuck in this emotional state? You need to do something with all this time -- It might as well be recovery!!!

Keep coming back,
Don

May 11, 2011
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You are all good people, here -at-least
by: Malci

Well, I put up a post disfunctional family holiday,. I am being helped by a gy who lived a semi monastic lifestyle inn the 60's for 10 years-figuire? anyhow what a god(good) thing it was at an anchorhold. anyway I know work for him and have been helped by him for 8 months and now my life is turning out better, It's never too late , keep postin..

May 11, 2011
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hey Frank
by: Hooibe

Frank,
Sorry to know you've had to live with this agony. I live with it too and I have to try to forget every day, which is next to impossible. At least you're here, and trust me you are not alone. I've often thought I'd rather have been in any other situation than this one. I ended up marrying an abandoner, who at the age of 41 committed suicide abandoning our only daughter. Today she is a drug addict and I carry the weight of trying to help her overcome her disease. It's all so complex and shitty. Glad you dropped in though.

Here for you,
B

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