Family Addiction

by Mary
(Houma, LA)

I am an only daughter and I have three brothers. My Dad, who was addicted to food, died 13 years ago. I am living with and taking care of my Mom. She is bedridden after breaking her ankle a year ago. She has show us that she has no intention to ever walk again. As the only girl in the family and also single, I was voted to take care of my Mom in her home. My Mom is a classic Queen Baby. She relentlessly has me doing something for her every minute, it seems. Our family is dysfunctional because my Mom is bipolar and addicted to prescription pain meds. She also takes a variety of other meds for every ailment she can conceive. If I protest to do something she asks, she pouts and sulks. Since I quit work to take care of my Mother, I have developed painful issues with my back, legs, and feet. I end up getting her to give me some of her pain meds. I've struggled with drug addiction since I was 15 yrs. I've had the most self-destructing love addictions, three marriages and a string of casual sex addictions. Two of my brothers are functioning alcoholics, my oldest brother is currently addicted to his wife, who is addicted to material things my brother can't afford. One of my alcoholic brothers has a prescription pain med addicted wife. Isn't this lovely. And last, but not least, my two sons are each addicted to their wives. Each son's father were alcoholics. I was a heavy marijuana smoker when I was raising them. Our original family is really very close and see each other and my Mom most weekends. My kids are determined not to hang around with us too much, for fear that our neuroticism will rub off on them.

Comments for Family Addiction

Average Rating starstarstarstarstar

Click here to add your own comments

Nov 16, 2013
Rating
starstarstarstarstar
To "Family Addiction"
by: Angie Carter

Thanks for sharing your situation with us. Boy can I relate! My family of origin has a lot of addiction in it and presently my sister is disabled (a lifetime of living with alcoholics and she is a food addict, obese and has many health problems and as a result has become disabled) I am the only family around (we live a couple of miles apart) and sooooo...it fell on me to do much of the caretaking...until recently.
This process of untangling myself from this situation has been slow coming, painful at times and very hard to do. But I was becoming resentful, unhappy, frustrated and exhausted with all the physical and mental things that go on when caretaking someone that is disabled AND addicted to meds.
But amazingly the more I set boundaries and slowly stepped back and just let her know in a loving way that I am no longer going to do certain things the better she got about trying to figure out how she was going to get them done!
The hard part was dealing with MY OWN feelings whenever she would pout, try to make me feel guilty. I had a critical voice in my head telling what an aweful sister I was, along with a lot of other critical things. I had to deal with that.
I encourage you to watch the video presentation on this website called "The Iceberg Model" --it's under the section called Beneath the Surface on the left side bar. It lays out how all these things get started. It's an eye-opener!
Good luck and keep searching, learning and growing! You can claim your own life back, and no one is going to do that for you, you have to do it for yourself. You can break the cycle and your children can have a healthy mother! Angie Carter

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Alcoholism & Other Addictions Forum.