Enabling my 29 year old son out of guilt
by Catherine C.
I've been clean and sober for 18 years. My son was about 8 when I started to get sober(relapsed 3 times). It's been a long recovery for me. Thinking I was making amends for the harm I had done to my son I think I have gone overboard. It's hard to let go and trust that God will take care of him.
This causes me a lot of stress, anxiety. My son has been doing drugs and drinking since he was a teenager. I've stopped helping him with money. Now I listen to him and enable him all the time on the phone. I've been trying to cut down on the phone calls and advice giving lately. Now I have to tell him I can't listen to his problems because they cause me lots of stress and anxiety. I'm going to try and tell him again. He's so used to me doing this it might take a couple of times to get him to call someone else about his problems.
My husband his stepfather gets very upset by my enabling. I believe now it's because when I'm upset and stressed over the actions of my son..my husband suffers.
I've now realized I'm not doing any of us any good being an enabler and thinking I was "helping". So I've come here to see what other people have done to stop there enabling.