enabling behaviour

by jasmine
(australia)

I got to the chronic stage of enabling behaviour with a sex addict as a boyfriend. As he kept wanting me back I thought he loved me. But he was using me for his sex hit. I knew he was online doing chats but now I realise some of what he was up to with all those women. He was also meeting up with women to have sex. I was told that he was not sleeping round. He eventually told me some of the truth of the extent of his addiction. A counsellor helped me to stay away in the end. They were a married couple and asked if I was ok with being one of many of his women in this guys fantasy world. After that I knew I was only going back for the sex that I was addicted to. I put that to sleep and never went back. It took me 9 months to get away as the withdraw of leaving the previous times had been too hard. I also went to a domestic violence group as this was an emotionally abusive relationship in that he lied to me the whole time about what he was up to. I always felt there had been other women in our bed and that he was acting weird. I haven't really faced what I went through but I just hope girls that you recognise the signs of an abuser and leave quickly. Don't tolerate disrespect and lies, and above all trust your instincts to run. And don't let them tell you that you are the crazy obsessive one. That is just their defense to keep you away. We deserve better than just getting scraps.

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