enabling a person who has a mental issue

by GLORIA
(LINCOLN, NE)

MY BEST FRIEND IN THE WORLD HAS BECOME AN ENABLING PERSON TO ANOTHER PERSON THAT SHE SHARED A BUSINESS WITH YEARS AGO, THEY ALSO HAVE A HOME TOGETHER. THE PERSON THAT SHE ENABLES HAS A SEVERE MENTAL ISSUE, AND I HAVE BEEN WORRIED FOR A LONG TIME AND SHE DOES NOT SEEM TO GRASP THE SEVERITY OF WHAT COULD POSSIBLY HAPPEN TO HER. I WORRY MYSELF SICK, BUT NO MATTER WHAT I SAY OR HAVE EXPLAINED TO HER ABOUT ENABLING BEHAVIOR SHE CONTINUES TO DO THE ENABLING. DOES ANYONE HAVE AN ANSWER?

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Apr 05, 2014
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enabling the traumatic brain injured
by: Anonymous

Help. I am a psychotherapist caught in this horrible trap. My husband is cracking up and I am recovering from major surgery. We have two children one disabled and single selfish 35 year old daughter who is on disability the rest of her income comes from trust funds we have established for her. Our son is dyslexic married with two kids. My attorney husband has put together joint ventures in farming that have resulted in my son (36) his wife and 2 young children having a very lucrative life. We worry all the time about money how do we get peace and out of this enabling mess.

Sep 16, 2011
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Sounds Familiar...
by: Don Carter

Hi Gloria,

It is interesting to me when I notice that I am not the only one who sometimes "cannot see the forest for the trees". This is why a counselor like me needs counseling once in a while...when we are in a situation it can be hard to see what's happening and we need an outside perspective.

For example, look at this statement you made in your post:

"...I WORRY MYSELF SICK, BUT NO MATTER WHAT I SAY OR HAVE EXPLAINED TO HER ABOUT ENABLING BEHAVIOR SHE CONTINUES TO DO THE ENABLING. DOES ANYONE HAVE AN ANSWER?"

When we "worry ourselves sick" and "try everything we know to get through" to a person caught up in enabling, yet continue to search for the "magical answers" we ourselves are caught up in an enabling relationship.

Now I am not there and I may be getting this all wrong...but it appears to me that you are enabling your enabling friend. Is that possible?

If so, you are in the right place, keep coming back and you will find relief whether your friend does or not.

Don

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