Enabler for years to a bipolar turned addict, my husband

I came mainly took look for stories I could read about how to work on my problem. My husband of 7 years has finally admitted he's an addict to pain pills and whatever although he does not take it regularly because he can't get it.

I have severe medical conditions and have prescription pain meds I need. He has stolen then, broke into safes I have bought, 2. Because he is bipolar and used to be abusive I know he will do whatever it takes to get what he wants.

I slowly became an enabler so that I would not get hurt, or so that, or so that...there are a million bad excuses. I am so tired of the game. He stole so much from me that he has left me in crippling pain for up to 2 weeks because he stole that much (pain meds). He thought I should just call my Dr for more.

Anyhow. I will share more later. I have to go. I look forward to connecting with others and learning how to deal with the newness of stepping out of denial and fear and have been seeking group and one on one therapy help. No more!

Heather

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Dec 07, 2009
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Have plan
by: livinginhope

Thanks for your comments. I have long had a safety plan.

I look forward to getting to know you and learn with you as well.

Livinginhope

Dec 07, 2009
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Hello :)
by: mxkx

Welcome to the site! :) While our situations vary, I can relate to what you are going through. I was in an abusive relationship as well and there were periods of time in which I was enabling him just to "keep the peace" because I was scared of what he might do if I didn't go along with him.

I look forward to seeing what insights you have to offer as you share your journey with us. And I must agree strongly with Don about setting up a safety plan. It's impossible to predict the behavior of someone who is emotionally unstable, so you need a plan set up for if you have to escape the situation immediately because otherwise you may not be able to do so.

Dec 06, 2009
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Just in case...
by: Don

Hi & welcome!

The first piece of advice I want to make sure you hear is that YOU NEED A SAFETY PLAN! If you are not seeing a counselor about such things it would be good if you could start.

While we here in these forums can respond with experience and suggestions none of this is meant to take the place of professional help, but to add our support and experience.

Having said that...keep coming back and, again, welcome! I know you will be hearing from others who have been where you are.

Don

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