emotionally abandoned for life


(england)

I am 16 and have struggled with addictions throughout my life so far.
My Dad has narcissism although we don't live with him anymore his actions of scarred me mentally for ever. And I don't think my mother ever wanted to be a Mum, she acts perfect from the outside(is a doctor, competes in triathlons) but only me and my brothers see how much she drinks every single evening, it's pathetic, she could not go a week without drinking, and if we ever are on holiday she gets absolutely pissed, then turns aggressive.

She takes no interest in any of our lives. We don't see her in the mornings, she comes home from work around 8, gets pissed, then goes to bed. Her weekends are spent doing sport. I wish she would care about me but I don't expect her to.
When I was 14 I used to drink wine everyday before I went to school, this phase lasted for around 8-10 weeks and she never even noticed.

I thought I'd overcame these issues although now I have started binge eating on cakes, chocolates, muffins, biscuits, I feel I really need to release the demons of my past.

I need to come to terms with the abandonment of my Mother, I will start to write a journal.

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