DOUBLE ABANDONMENT

by Kathie Grace
(Baltimore Md)

When I was five years old my mother and father split up. There were four children involved. My brother and I were put in a foster home. My older sister and younger brother went to stay with Paternal grandparents. Nothing was explained to us. Father visited on time during foster care. Mother maybe twice. Never a phone call. Foster parents were cold and unloving.

One day I was put in a foster home by myself. I thought I had did something so wrong and evil to have all my family gone. After three foster homes mother came and got me and took me home with her. When she visited one time she ask me if I wanted to come home with her. I felt no emotion whatsoever, but pretended to be happy. Mother showed no affection and gave harsh punishment when I got bit by dog, when I got my period was screamed at for not knowing how to put sanitary belt on. beer throw in eyes. Sexually molesting by stepfather.

I got pregnant at 14 ,was kicked out bags and baggage's. Father of child married me. Marriage lasted 13 years. I felt self hatred and bad all the time, I always feared God's rejection and being sent to hell to be punished forever. Low self esteem, even though nice looking good personality.

I am 58 years old now, still serving God, finally realized that Jesus will never leave me or forsake me and in the book of Psalms God said when thy Father and thy mother forsake thee, then I will take thee up. That is in my heart now. Have a great compassion for children and very sensitive to their feelings.