Daughter and Abandonment

When my daughter was only three months old, she was taken from me by her father. We had been married for three years. I was only 22 years old he was much older. This happened in the 70's when enforcement of child abduction laws were not enforced.

Well my daughter is 30 years old and has anger issues, is violent when feels that things are falling apart or not having her way. She can be very deceiving. She lies a lot to get me to help her when she is not being responsible with her bills.

What can I do to help her heal from these issues of abandonment after all these years. She has two children. Has been married two times and was in very abusive relationships.

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Sep 02, 2010
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Be there without enabling
by: Don

Hi,

The best thing to do is learn how to be there for your daughter in a way that does not enable but supports her efforts to help herself or get help for herself.

If you do things for her when she gets in a pinch, but she is making no effort to admit or overcome HER problems, then you are enabling (not causing) her to continue discounting her own abilities to heal the past.

Feel free to ask more specifics.

Don Carter

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