Coping with Abandonment Issues

by C. Taylor
(Colorado)

I hate being alone, especially if I had my own place and 2 dogs with me. I feel so alone even though I have some friends and some in my family to talk to. Do not understand this at all. Was raised in an extremely abusive home.

My abuse was limited to emotional and mental, but I saw a lot of physical abuse in addition to the rest my whole life till I left home at 21. I would like to feel comfortable in my own skin when I am living by myself in society.

Ive been to counseling many times but not for this issue. I have grown alot thru the years with my counseling and reading of self help books. They have helped me a lot. Areas of dealing with Family members and communication.

My Father is a Functional Alcoholic. I have 4 Brothers, out of all of them, they have had issues with drugs or alcohol. My oldest Brother committed suicide at 45 with Alcohol. He could not cope anymore with life. The Physical abuse, mental, emotional and sexual abuse from my Father towards him destroyed him as a human. He was a beautiful human and good natured.

My other brothers have been able to get a handle on their issues. I am still struggling with Alcohol issues. I use it to not feel. I find myself tipping toeing everywhere when I dont need to. I feel like theres something wrong with me.

Im close to my Mother and if it wasnt for her love thru the years I would not know it just by my father. My father was raised in Germany during the war and has many emotional issues himself. I understand the parent thing on doing the best they could or doing only what they knew to do.

I would like to have some discussion with those similar to me or would like to know if there are group meetings to go to for abandonment issues. I have more to say, but Im not the best writer. I prefer to talk.

C. Taylor