CONFLICTED & CONFUSED

I have been married almost five years and for most of that time my wife has suffered with depression. She didn't admit that she had been diagnosed with depression until after we were married. Soon after we got married she was hit with an onslaught of physical ailments from fibromyalgia to uterine fibroids.

I have encouraged her to seek professional help for the depression from the beginning to no avail. We have a 3 year old daughter and she is unable to physically or emotionally care for. Throughout the years she has threatened suicide, but never attempted it. I covered up her depression, made excuses and ignored signs. Recently, I told her I was moving an hours drive away and I believed my daughter should come with me. I work nights and have become afraid for my child's safety since her mother can't physically care for her. Am I wrong for doing what I feel is best for my child's and my best interest?

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May 26, 2011
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Never wrong to put kids first
by: Don Carter

Hello,

It is never wrong to put your child first. If you allow unhealthiness to continue and grow like a dark cloud in your household (untreated) it can become an emotionally polluted & toxic environment.

There has already been emotional wounds to your three year old...and they will only get worse unless you demonstrate the right thing to do when these kinds of problems come up.

Now, having said that getting professional advice from someone locally, who can assess your unique situation would be the best first thing to do.

And remember that if your wife chooses to do nothing about her conditions then it is up to you to do something -- otherwise you enable her and abandon your daughter. (See Enabling Behavior in the "At the Waterline" section of the Navigation panel on the left side of this page).

Take Care and God Bless,
Don Carter

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