Concerned about newphews and neices daily cares, abuse, and emotional health

My brother is an addict and has mental illness. He is unable to take care of himself and is financially over $200,000 in debt and that is since he filed personal bankruptcy. My ex sister in law is an alcoholic and enables my brother. They have four children who have been victimized by their parents lack of being able to care for them. I and my family have been personally threatened if we try to reach out to help my nephews and nieces in any way that we will suffer the consequences of my brothers irractic behavior and so will his children if they try to contact us. My brother is waiting to go to trail on felony charges so hurting one of us and going to jail for it is reasonable in his mind. My oldest nephew is 15 and was just released from the hospital were he stayed for 12 days due to an infection. His liver enzymes were critical and he was in pancreatitis. He needs his appendix out but has to heal before the surgery. He is very sick and his parents are unable to help him physically. I have not spoken to my nephew in two years. He did call Christmas Day this year but I did not return the call because I did not want him to get in any trouble in case his parents would find out. I know this is enabling but I want to help him and rescue him from the situation and take care of him. I am thinking about calling him and seeing if I can help in any way. What would you do?

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Feb 04, 2012
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Call Child Protective Services...
by: Anonymous

They will launch an investigation. Get it started now for your nephews/neices sake.

Jan 21, 2012
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Agreed
by: Anonymous

I agree that if there are children involved and their safety is in question it is NOT enabling to step in and take action (with professional help and guidance).

There is such a thing as a genuine victim. And when there is a genuine victim then rescuer's (such as EMT's, adult relatives, law enforcement, and family services workers) are also genuine. A genuine "persecutor" is the Prosecutor.

It is only when we take over and do for our addicted loved one something they should be doing for themselves that we get into enabling behaviors.

Jan 16, 2012
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Go see family services counsellor
by: Darlene

Hi There: I would suggest you go to see a family services counsellor. Find one that feels right for you. S/he can help you with your feelings about this situation and then help you figure out how to deal with it.
Good Luck!

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