CHEATED?

by kim
(m)

I am not sure about the person I married. I thought I was making a safe choice and I wasn't sure about a deep connection. Most of our 16 year marriage I have felt emotionally alone. I am always trying to catch him. My gut tells me he is hiding something and I know he plays mind games and I can't seem to find the courage to leave. I think this crisis and then "shew" its ok mode is part of my childhood.

Would it be the same if I leave? I need help for my 3 kids who get tormented by his mind games too. I think our marriage is the courtroom state and I feel guilt for not walking out. I think I am afraid to be alone - but in so many ways I am.