Issues That Cause Low Self Esteem

A lot of things can cause low self esteem, but the number one factor by far is negative child development experiences. This page is dedicated to covering the impact of unmet childhood dependency needs on people who, for one reason or another, do not get their emotional dependency needs met.

Along with low self-esteem, other results of unmet childhood needs include:

Acting-Out at School
Bed Wetting
Obesity in Teenagers
Problem Teenagers
Depression Among Teenagers
Teenager Pregnancy
Chronic Depression Among Men and Women
Alcoholism in Teenager
Codependency & Addiction
Intimacy Problems
Chaotic Relationships
And More

As you can tell, life complications are pervasive when kids grow up with issues that cause low self esteem.

The Iceberg

The above list is just the "tip of the iceberg"...in fact, in the following PowerPoint presentation I use the Iceberg as a model for exploring the impact of not getting enough of our needs met.

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Or Read an Online Text Version of The Iceberg...

Click on the following links in the order they are presented to read an abbreviated text version of the Iceberg online. Or Contact Me to order the full in-depth, 65-page hard copy version (also available in EBook format).

The "Iceberg", Part I -- Abandonment

The "Iceberg", Part II -- Codependency

The "Iceberg", Part III -- Addictive Personality

The "Iceberg", Part IV -- Overcoming Addiction

Let's Have a Conversation about Childhood Issues!

Are you a helping professional? Someone from a dysfunctional family? New to recovery from childhood abandonment issues? Or just want to learn more?

This Forum is a place you can share your experience, ask questions, tell your story, discuss ways to overcome the past, comment on others contributions, or talk about what works in your own recovery.

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What Other Visitors Have Said

Click below to see contributions from other visitors to this page...

Want to do things differently
For as long as I can remember I have believed that I was no good, stupid, hopeless, a failure. Stupid, I know. My father was a harsh disciplinarian who ...

Perhaps I can help another.
There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders. How many times I have heard this at AA? Now when I get called on to speak I ...

Abandonment Issues over ex-boyfriend
I just broke up with a guy who I originally said I forgave for playing head games prior to us getting together. We had been together 2 1/2 years ago and ...

Childhood Development of Codependency
After being in a continual process of recovery for the past 14 years using therapy, books, and 12 step programs such as CoDA, A.A., & S.L.A.A. I still ...

I talk and I talk... but I never talk about 'it'.
I'm a 55 yr old woman who recently began having panic attacks... If any of you have ever experienced a panic attack, you know how horrifying they can be!...

Ending the Cycle of Abuse
I have an adult son who has expressed that he has abandonment issues.

His father and I broke up when he was very young and we were kept apart alot ...

Just Listening
I am new and just want to listen to begin with.

Abandonment Issues..
Childhood abandonment issues (literally).

Not wanting to place blame on anyone. More curious as to why it took me until almost 40 years old to start ...

The Iceberg is helping me help others!
This is the story about how your website has helped me with teaching a class called "Letting Go of Codependency" to incarcerated women.

I am a recovering ...

Gestalt Therapy Doesn't Seem to be Enough For Me
I have a wonderful therapist and some of the Gestalt therapies have helped somewhat. However, in reading a "self help" book, recommended by my psychiatrist,...

Don't Give Up Hope - PART II
...Here, I must talk a little bit more about my father. My father is and has always been violent. He's been like that since he's a child. Therapists believe ...

Do Not Give Up Hope - PART I
I come from what is described here as a "dysfunctional family". My parents got divorced right after I was born. I believe they both have abandonment issues ...

Indifference
I wonder why parents are so Indifferent to Children's thoughts, hopes and dreams. As I have suffered emotional abandonment from my parents my reaction ...

Very Tired
My husband grew up in an alcoholic home, we are now in mid 40s, drink regularly "like Europeans", wine with dinner, but seems to be more. Some addiction ...

Fear
What I learned growing up in a dysfunctional family is FEAR. Plain and simple. Fear.

I know there is healthy fear - like when you learn to be afraid ...

The Role of a Higher Power
I was sexually abused by my father for about 14 years, my mother would set me up for the abuse. Although we weren't religious, really, I must have learned ...

My Addiction to Partners with Personality Disorders
My story. I came from a low nurturance childhood. My much loved father died suddenly when I was 7 and I was brought up by my angry, workaholic mother....

How to Stop These Feelings of Abandonment and Shame
I write this today as I have had enough of these feelings. I am 30 years old and have been dealing with these feelings all of my life. I am looking for ...

How do I help my son
I have just read part 1 of the Iceberg and it has made me believe what I already thought was going on for my 19 year old son. He is a lovely boy who is ...

Why is it I already knew but forgot?
Why is it I seem to remember having correctly identified some of those "voices" in my head as a child? Why is it no one ever brought the subject up and ...

I'm rock bottom
I've hit that rock bottom, and here I am. With a history riddled with almost every addiction in the list, I have gotten to the point where I don't really ...

Someone knows without me having ever told them
The Iceberg is the best explanation of what happens to an abused child that I have ever came across on the internet.

It is from this that I am learning ...

Have I done something wrong?
"I have never felt good enough. Nothing I do is good enough. If I would just....."

I come from a very dysfunctional family, my birth family and ...

Abandonment
I am from a very large dysfunctional family and I always felt that no one truly cared for me while growing up. I felt that I seldom had my parent's attention ...

Looking at the Past changes Now and thus the Future! Not rated yet
I just realized something very profound, I have been given an opportunity that many people never get in life and certainly one that my parents weren't ...

Total Abandonment Not rated yet
The Iceberg Model of abandonment is fine for the situations described. Personally I found I could see no similarities between my experience and the model....