Thawing Issues that cause Low Self Esteem

Grieving the losses 
When I was around 16 years old, I had a kind of psychological awakening that rocked me to my core. I can remember sitting on the sofa staring at my mother ...

Just Getting Started. 
I am just getting started through this abandonment recovery. I've always knew it to be an issue but my boyfriend & I have had some changes that should ...

DOUBLE ABANDONMENT 
When I was five years old my mother and father split up. There were four children involved. My brother and I were put in a foster home. My older sister ...

Trust in a higher power 
As the pain from my childhood abandonment issues surfaces i am filled with fear and trauma. This fear seems to manifest itself in a fear of the future ...

Need to Feel Needed 
I had a mother who became busy with my brother's children when I turned 14. His wife had a serious disease. I became jealous of the attention they were ...

Auto Childhood Response 
My 4 sisters and I were raised by a mother who did not show any type of loving affection or nurturing. She was efficient in making sure we were fed, cleaned ...

Daughter and Abandonment 
When my daughter was only three months old, she was taken from me by her father. We had been married for three years. I was only 22 years old he was ...

Call Aunty Vi 
I am 64 and still find it hard to comprehend my mother and father's pure neglect towards myself and my three siblings. I never did and still don't feel ...

Abandonment in adult life  
My situation is that I was sexually abused by my father and I remembered it only in 1991 and I dealt with it in therapy. But I just cannot deal with is ...

Damn my childhood. 
I am suffering hugely from a sense of abandonment because my GF wants time to herself. I know the logical reason for this, but I cant stop being upset ...

My baby brother died when I was 18 months old (he was 4 mos. old ) 
I have abandonment issues. My little brother died when I was 18 month old. He was only 4 months old. My father was away on a trip and my mom was caring ...

Abandonment 
My four siblings and I were abandoned by our mother, (we were ages 1-5 at the time) and after a year, our father. We were then separated and lived in ...

Loving your Inner Child 
Hi everyone

I have been married to a lovely girl for the past twenty years. We have 3 wonderful, special children. They are growing up too fast.

We ...

Getting help for the caregiver in abandonment... 
I have a friend who is caring for her to great-nephews who have been abandoned several times by their mother (no father in the picture, so there is abandonment ...

Greetings! 
I came across this website almost a year ago, and only noticed the opportunity to share in the forum, so I'm signing up! Hoping to share more soon! Thanks!...

Struggling 
I come from a birth family of 6 girls - the oldest was born Epileptic. There are 6 years between myself and the next oldest-the next youngest was born ...

Withdrawal 
Everything I'm reading in this article has been enlightening, educational and interesting but I would had like to have read something about the role physical ...

Repression Onset of Mood Altering Substance 
As a CASAC working in the field of alcohol/addiction for the past 15 years, I’ve completed more that a 1000 psychosocial and have notice that 80-90% of ...

Strong Enough to be Vulnerable 
Hello Everyone!

I'm a mother of four children. I lost a son 5 years ago. I'm committed to learning how to better meet the emotional needs of my children....

In the Process of Healing 
Hi Everyone,

I have also been through a very rough childhood not having both parent there and also being sexually abused as a child from a family friend....

Abandonment Revived 
A couple of weeks ago a colleague of mine left her job at work. A group of us went to the pub after work and at the end of the evening we all said goodbye ...

Buried Feelings Don't Die! 
I try so hard to distance myself from all the family Drama! thought it would End when Father died, but my own Mother is the Ringmaster of all the dysfunction....

I was a victim too. 
Although I wasn't a direct victim of sexual abuse, I'm learning now that being a witness to it may have been a big part of my own lifelong pain. My sisters ...

New to Recovery 
Hello all!

I am very glad to have found this forum. I am a 28-year old woman dealing with some emotional pain from what I've read is deemed "emotional ...

Prison with no walls.. 
I have been trying to solve and understand my life ..Is it Karma, God ? past lives? I have been meditating almost 12 years...There were times I will stay ...

Comments on "Thaw - Freedom from Frozen Feeling-States" 
Wow! Your new Book "THAW - Freedom from Frozen Feeling-States" is great. It is your best work so far. The first two paragraphs really got me (and several ...

I just can't let go 
I was almost 13 years old when I last saw my father. His last words to me, I'll see you next weekend....next weekend never came. I was just starting ...

I want a better life for myself. 
I went to see my mother and brother at Christmas time and ended up staying much longer.
My mother had signed power of attorney and everything she owned ...

Giving up the chance for friendship 
I try very hard to form friendships, but I find that the process of getting close is always very painful. Usually when people start to pull away it brings ...

50 YEAR JOURNEY 
I have managed to live my life not addressing the issues caused by my parents who physically abandoning me at 2 yrs old. I am now 52 and I can tell you ...

New Level of Understanding about my Childhood - and Adulthood 
I'm reaching a new level of understanding about my childhood and the source of my inner struggles.

Unexpectedly, my stepmother has opened up to me ...

Dreams of Family ~ Letting go 
Dreams of Family - Letting Go

I was born into a large family. One of 6 children. Yet I was never really part of this family. I was a Christian for many ...

Fear of Abandoment 
A little about myself first. I am a male, in mid-40's. I was born on SW VA in 1963, and grew up on a farm. I lived with with my Mother, my Aunt, and her ...

I'm not okay, you're not okay 
I Broke up with my Son Today

Well, I called just to talk to my son because I love him and he came off treating me like dirt, telling me all sorts of ...

Want to do things differently 
For as long as I can remember I have believed that I was no good, stupid, hopeless, a failure. Stupid, I know. My father was a harsh disciplinarian who ...

Looking at the Past changes Now and thus the Future!  
I just realized something very profound, I have been given an opportunity that many people never get in life and certainly one that my parents weren't ...

Perhaps I can help another. 
There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders. How many times I have heard this at AA? Now when I get called on to speak I ...

Total Abandonment 
The Iceberg Model of abandonment is fine for the situations described. Personally I found I could see no similarities between my experience and the model....

Abandonment Issues over ex-boyfriend 
I just broke up with a guy who I originally said I forgave for playing head games prior to us getting together. We had been together 2 1/2 years ago and ...

Childhood Development of Codependency 
After being in a continual process of recovery for the past 14 years using therapy, books, and 12 step programs such as CoDA, A.A., & S.L.A.A. I still ...

I talk and I talk... but I never talk about 'it'.  
I'm a 55 yr old woman who recently began having panic attacks... If any of you have ever experienced a panic attack, you know how horrifying they can be!...

Ending the Cycle of Abuse 
I have an adult son who has expressed that he has abandonment issues.

His father and I broke up when he was very young and we were kept apart alot ...

Just Listening 
I am new and just want to listen to begin with.

Abandonment Issues.. 
Childhood abandonment issues (literally).

Not wanting to place blame on anyone. More curious as to why it took me until almost 40 years old to start ...

The Iceberg is helping me help others! 
This is the story about how your website has helped me with teaching a class called "Letting Go of Codependency" to incarcerated women.

I am a recovering ...

Gestalt Therapy Doesn't Seem to be Enough For Me 
I have a wonderful therapist and some of the Gestalt therapies have helped somewhat. However, in reading a "self help" book, recommended by my psychiatrist,...

Don't Give Up Hope - PART II 
...Here, I must talk a little bit more about my father. My father is and has always been violent. He's been like that since he's a child. Therapists believe ...

Do Not Give Up Hope - PART I 
I come from what is described here as a "dysfunctional family". My parents got divorced right after I was born. I believe they both have abandonment issues ...

Indifference 
I wonder why parents are so Indifferent to Children's thoughts, hopes and dreams. As I have suffered emotional abandonment from my parents my reaction ...

Very Tired 
My husband grew up in an alcoholic home, we are now in mid 40s, drink regularly "like Europeans", wine with dinner, but seems to be more. Some addiction ...

Fear 
What I learned growing up in a dysfunctional family is FEAR. Plain and simple. Fear.

I know there is healthy fear - like when you learn to be afraid ...

The Role of a Higher Power 
I was sexually abused by my father for about 14 years, my mother would set me up for the abuse. Although we weren't religious, really, I must have learned ...

My Addiction to Partners with Personality Disorders 
My story. I came from a low nurturance childhood. My much loved father died suddenly when I was 7 and I was brought up by my angry, workaholic mother....

How to Stop These Feelings of Abandonment and Shame 
I write this today as I have had enough of these feelings. I am 30 years old and have been dealing with these feelings all of my life. I am looking for ...

How do I help my son 
I have just read part 1 of the Iceberg and it has made me believe what I already thought was going on for my 19 year old son. He is a lovely boy who is ...

I'm rock bottom 
I've hit that rock bottom, and here I am. With a history riddled with almost every addiction in the list, I have gotten to the point where I don't really ...

Someone knows without me having ever told them 
The Iceberg is the best explanation of what happens to an abused child that I have ever came across on the internet.

It is from this that I am learning ...

Have I done something wrong? 
"I have never felt good enough. Nothing I do is good enough. If I would just....."

I come from a very dysfunctional family, my birth family and ...

Abandonment 
I am from a very large dysfunctional family and I always felt that no one truly cared for me while growing up. I felt that I seldom had my parent's attention ...

Return to happiness  Not rated yet
An aunt recently told me that when I was a baby my parents treated me horribly, "I don't know why,because there was nothing wrong with you' she said. Well ...

smoking  Not rated yet
Hi everyone, i think i need some counselling! I never could understand why i smoke so much, or if I stop I get addicted to other stuff ... shopping, eating,...

Introducing Thawing the Iceberg™  Not rated yet
Hi Everyone,

I just wanted to give you a heads up about a FREE ebook for healing abandonment issues available for download now at the following page:...

My son's anger to his father escalated to his General Anxiety Disorder  Not rated yet
His father and I separated when he was e years old. I thought that would be the best for Sean so
that he will not grow up seeing his parent fight all ...

It's only taken me 40 years to realise I have abandonment issues!  Not rated yet
I have had a sudden revelation and it's only taken me 40 years to realise I have abandonment issues. At the age of 8 my parents were advised to send me ...