BETRAYAL

by RODGER
(uk)

I HAVE HAD A HAPPY MARRAIGE FOR 25 YEARS, IM 52 NOW, HOWEVER MY FATHER WAS NEVER LOVING.. A SUCCESSFUL BUSINESSMAN BUT NEVER SHOWD HIS AFFECTION.. i'VE ALWAYS TRIED TO GET HIS APPROVAL BUT HE NEVER GIVES IT.. NOW DURING MY MARRAIGE i BETRAYED MY WIFE BY GOING WITH AND ESCORT AND THE HAVING AN EMOTIONAL AFFAIR WITH A YOUNGER WOMAN WHOM IS A SINGLE MOTHER.. COULD'NT HELP MY SELF. SEEM TO BE ADDICTED TO HER.. THIS IS NOT PERSON i THOUGHT i WAS, AND IT HAS RUNIED MY LIFE.. WHY DID i DO IT? AT 37 MY WIFE AND i STOPPED HAVING SEX AND WE STOPPED COMMUNICATING OUR FEELING.. i WANTED TOO BUT FEARED REJECTION, 8 YEARS LATER WE GOT BACK ON TRACK BUT WITHIN 2 YEARS i STARTED MY EMOTIONAL AFFAIR.. iS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME TO RISK MY ENTIRE WORLD tRYING TO EXPLAIN TO MY WIFE AND STOP DIVORCE.. BUT i DON'T KNOW HOW TO PUT IT INTO WORDS.. AND YES i'M A WORKAHOLIC..NO OTHJER INTERESTS APRT FROM BUILDING, SAME INDUSTRY AS MY FATHER..WIFE AND i ARE GOING TO COUNCELLING BUT i NEED TO CONVEY MY THOUGHTS BUT DONT KNOW HOW TOO! i STARTED TO FEEL LIKE A WORKHORSE WHEN MY FAMILY JUSTG ENJOYED A GRREAT LIFESTYLE.. NO THOUGHT FOR ME AS LONG AS i WAS WORKING TO BRING HOME MONEYH EVERYONE WAS HAPPY,, NOW WERE SEPERATED MAYBE THEY CAN SEE HOW HARD i WORKED AS THEY HAVE TO MOVE OUT OF HOUSE AS IT'S BEEN SOLD BUT ALL OUR FUTURES ARE NOW GOING TO BE DESTITUTE AS SPLITTING FINANCES , BUT MY WIFE COULD NEVER SEE WHY SHE SHOULD GO TO WORK,, EVEN ALTHOUGH WE LIVED MONTH TO MONTH WITH BIG DEBTS.. aM i WRONG TO EXPECT HER TO WORK AND HELP..

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Apr 15, 2013
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unconscious ueges /workhorse
by: Anonymous

I was totally reasonable for you to ask your wife to work and it was selfish and manipulative that she wouldn't consider it. i'm 44 and was a single parent for 10 years. Maybe you can relate to a woman who's hard to work, or is stuck in a role of wrokhorse, soing the parenting by herself...and she can relate to your problems. i think it's great you are separating from your cold and inconsiderate wife. as the breadwinner...you are in a more noble situation. i would hope you look down on your soon to be ex wife with some disdain for the foolish choices SHE made, and enjoy your life with someone who can relate and respect you for the thoughtful & gentle person you are becoming. i don't see you filled with hate - i could be wrong, but you are coming to terms with some issues...reclaiming your life. good for you. who cares about your possessions...it's not the quality of your things that matter, but the quality of your experience...you can live simply and have freedom from an unsupportive wife...but don't get caught supporting another woman...

Apr 09, 2013
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Someday My Father Will Love Me.
by: Anonymous

Dear Rodger... Although I cannot comment on all the aspects of what you have described. I can tell you a story about my own life in regard to spending the first 40 years trying to get my father to love me. I didn't realize this was what I was doing until one day when I was at a store and ran into the realtor who was selling my father's house. She observed me with my father on various occasions and was kind enough to mention to me that she use to be like me. I wasn't sure what to make of her comment.. like her? How I asked? And, she told me that she use to try all she could to get her father to pay attention to her, that she had observed this behavior in me.. etc.. I'd never thought of this... As time went by I gave what this woman said to me some thought here and there and began noticing myself more and more. It was true. I was trying to get my father to love me.. and then one day, very profoundly a realization came to me. I realized that my father was not going out of his way not to love me. He did not have any love to give me. This was not a pleasant thought but it was the truth and did remove the self-blame that had been my life long companion. Once I was able to fully accept this I was for the first time set free from the constant striving for the carrot on the stick... and I stopped trying. This did not mean I was not a caring daughter, but it did mean I no longer needed to do things that I'd been doing that did not edify me and although this resulted in my father eventually becoming dis-satisfied with me because he was not use to my new reaction to him, before he died he actually called me on the phone and told me, "I love you" which was very difficult for him to do and I cried. You are not the reason your father treats you the way he does. I hope that helps.. *Kathy

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