Comments for Being The Step Parent of a Spoiled 17 Year Old

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Being The Step Parent of a Spoiled 17 Year Old

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Jan 22, 2012
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Help NEW
by: Anonymous

This doesn't mean he is spoiled. Maybe he didn't have a man in his life to help him to prepare to become a man. Judy because he is of age doesn't mean he knows what to do

Apr 08, 2011
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On the other side
by: Lisa

I am a mother of a 17 year old daughter and 13 year old son. I have been separated from the kids father since they were 8 and 4. I have never exposed my children to anyone I have dated in all of those years. No man ever came into my household. Until the past 6 months. I have finally met someone wonderful and whom I am proud to show to my kids and them to him. My husband and I never divorced yet d/t many reasons mostly the cost. But I am filing for the dissolution next month.

Anyway, my son is very cool with this gentleman likes him going out to eat with us and on weekend outings. My daughter however is having a hard time. My therapist has said that the daughter learns how to have opposite sex relationships from her rel with her father and sees me as "hurting" her father right now. Despite the fact that she has never once wanted us to get back together and has voiced much disappointment in him over the years. 17 is an incredibly vulnerable age.

My daughter is by no means ready to grow up and go out into the adult world. I imagine she will be living here until after college. Her coming from family of divorce has stunted her emotional growth. And as a mother if this man whom I am in love with deeply attempted to come between me and my children my children would win every time. I will always pick my kids over any one else in the world because I am a mother first and anything else second. So be patient with the 17 year old boy.

Feb 04, 2010
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To the Step Parent
by: Angie Carter

These situations are never ever easy. Blended families can test even the most stable persons limits. All I can do is share my experience.

My husband and I have a blended family. I have one son and he has a son and a daughter. What I am about to offer you is only our experience and it may not apply to people who have younger children and are needing to 'raise them' in a blended family scenario in which all persons live in the same house.

Our children were a little bit older when we got married (one still living with my husband)- his daughter had just moved out on her own as well as my son. I can only share with you how my husband has handle the relationship between him and my son and where he places himself when it comes to issues concerning my son. First of all, he has always respected our relationship and has NEVER tried to interfer with that. He has never tried to diminish or belittle my son EVEN when he has not agreed with his choices or even certain behaviors. He has stated his feelings on occasion in a calm, non-judging way.

He does not get involved unless he is invited to do so. He will offer his opinion when my son asks for it, or when I inquire as to what his thoughts on the matter might be. Of course, I understand this may be somewhat different if my son was living with us. Bottom line is though, your wife is his mother and that is a relationship that is very important and cannot be changed.

Teenagers have a VERY difficult time taking advice and direction from their own biological parents, much less step parents. Plus the fact that his biological mother AND father are not together now. That can be hard on a person, even if they are a young adult.

I think my husband has been wise not to try and "parent" my son and to be there as a support when my son needs support and is willing to receive it. He has demonstrated much love towards my son.

I have tried to do the same for his children. I know my place and that is I am a step-mom...or to them I may be "my dad's wife" but I am not their mother. I have tried to demonstrate love, care and concern and keep opinions at bay unless asked for them.
Good Luck to you and your endeavors!!

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This information is not a substitute for professional evaluation and/or treatment. Reading the information contained here may trigger strong emotional reactions. If you have an emergency, call 911, other local emergency contact, your local emergency room, or law enforcement agency.