AWAKENING

by KATHIE GRACE
(BALTIMORE MD)

Oh my God, this has helped me so much, I'm 58 years old. I am a christian, I believe God loves me, but obviously only when I felt like I was pleasing him. I got addicted to benzo's and pain medicine, I felt real anxiety and real pain, I just could not get off of these medicines completely. In fact I still take the benzo's and I was diagnosed as bi-polar, I take Lamictal, I've had very much sorrow and pain in my life from childhood till now. Just today I ask God to take me home, I'm tired.

There is so so much to say, I'm at work and don't have enough time. I lost all three of my full blooded siblings two at 46yrs old and 1 at 47. My 23 yr old daughter was murdered by a serial killer 14 yrs ago. My husband died during the murder trial. Oh God so so much pain. I don't know how I'm still alive. I do need help, I know God loves me and he will help me. Thank you so much for this forum. God bless you, I've been living with my false self all these years. Now I think my heavenly father wants me to be me.

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May 13, 2011
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Faith Hope and Love
by: Anonymous

Hi there

I can say that with my past being so messed up - and having God in my life has saved me. I too was suppose to be dead quite a number of times already, but this has still not happened.

God loves you. If we were not born into a world of sin, we would have never gone through all of this. His arms are open to you. All that matters in this life is that you accept that Jesus loved you so much that, he died a horrible death on a cross, which was the worse kind of death, for all of your sins. All he asks you is that you love and trust Him as you walk the road with Him.

I keep on thinking of my life with all the things happening to me - and I realised that Sin came into my life - not by choice, but because of human conditions without God in our life. God did not intend our world to be like this. One day, He will take your pain away - FOREVER!!! GOD BLESS YOU AND KEEP YOU SAFE IN JESUS NAME.. AMEN!!!

Feb 01, 2011
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God Bless You Angel
by: Anonymous

I am today (1 Feb 2011) in the same boat - and seeing the same light. Thanks to God and to the authors of this article - and the contributors like yourself.
We are so Blessed -- only TRUE LOVE could have sustained us thus far.

God Bless You

Dec 24, 2010
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Hi Kathie...
by: Don

Good choice for a last name...Grace is the most powerful gift anyone could ask for in recovery, especially from woundedness such as what you are describing.

I hope you are in with a counselor that understands both addiction and Bi-Polar Disorder. That would put you into a "Dual" Recovery scenario...in one recovery its relapse to take drugs but in the other it's relapse to go off the drugs.

This makes for a very complicated scenario and someone who has specialized training in both areas is necessary.

Keep coming back and let us know if you have questions.

Don Carter

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