Am I enabling my room mate?

by Lila
(Calgary, Alberta)

We have a room mate who is dating a woman who I believe is not right for him (they are both codependent; he is a rescuer and she is the victim).

Problem: Would I be enabling him if I let her come up for a couple of days to look after him after he comes out from foot surgery (I do not cater or babysit anybody). My gut tells me NO because if he just wants someone to babysit him and cater to him, that is not gonna happen in my house. The other side of me says, Yes because it is none of my business what happens between them and I should just put on a front and be nice to both of them and pretend I am okay with what he is asking of me when I am not.

My instinct says NO, but I just know his feelings would be hurt and although I KNOW I am not responsible for his feelings, I would feel guilty and I KNOW I shouldn`t.

She lives in another city and he commutes to where she is and he stays for days at a time. I do not know her and I do not trust people I do not know. My question is would I be the enabler if I let him bring this woman into my house to look after him because he wants her to (she caretakes and babys him).

I need to know pretty quick here. Thanks.