Advice am I an enabler ?

by JC

My boyfriend of almost 2years used to be a heroin addict, well I say used to he has recently relapsed. He used to be so kind and loving now he is so cold and distant, he runs away from me for days switches his phone off and hides, he tells lies when he used to tell me everything we were so close.

When he comes back we have a good talk he says he is sorry and he loves me more than anything, he deletes the numbers then stays in for a few days, I believe him and think everything going to be ok, then without warning he will go the shop and not come back or not come home from work. He has even said he is going the toilet and has run out the back door. I'll ring and ring and look for him then when I find him he will be sorry again and the cycle repeats itself.

He knows he is hurting me and his family but he still chooses to do this, I don't understand, he has lost a lot of weight and is now even failing work which he never did. I don't know what to do next he is going to lose everything his Nan is going to throw him out because she can't cope with all the worry of not knowing where he is.

I will tell you a bit about myself now, I don't know my biological dad I have never met him I don't even know his name, my dad that brought me up was my hero he looked after me and my mum and was big and strong, my mum was with him since I was 6/7. I am the kind of person that worries a lot I take on board other peoples problems and try to help them often ignoring myself, I take care of my appearance and worry what people think of me, I have a lot of friends and am quite sociable.

At the moment tho I am not being that person because I can't stop thinking about my boyfriend, looking for him, checking to see if he's called, ringing his family as they are worried also it's encompassing all my thoughts so I am not interested in socializing.

I realize I am under a lot of stress and am not eating or sleeping well. My boyfriends real dad was also a heroin addict he didn't really know him growing up, met him a few times and used to run away when he came to collect him if he turned up at all. He knows his mum but she says he has never really told her much and she has never seen him cry or show feelings? He often cries and shows feelings to me and she was surprised at this I think he has always bottled things up? He has pretty much always lived with his Nan, his mums mum, and he is her blue eyed boy, he can't do a thing wrong and it's always someone else fault, although just recently she is reaching the end of her tether with him and is threatening to chuck him out.

Where we are at the moment is he is on one of his benders, this time I have refused to look for him I have not tried to call I just sent one text saying I can't put up with this hurt anymore I hope he gets help and I love him but goodbye. His family have been trying to contact him but he is running away from them he only really listens to me but just lately he has stopped doing that, he is going to lose everything, and no one wants that but I can't chase him again to try and talk some sense in to him only for him to go off on one again in a week or two. But on the other hand I don't want to give up on him I love him so much.

Any advice would be appreciated? Thanks x