Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families

by Judy
(Jefferson City, Missouri)

I liked the workshop, but went to a support group and was not impressed. I guess because my issues deal with the frustration of knowing what my mother did to my younger sisters. I didn't feel since I have no drug or alcohol issues stemming from the situation, only depression the support group would be of little help to me. Maybe I should have went to more than one meeting. I don't know.

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Nov 08, 2009
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You'll soon get it! Don't give up just yet!
by: mxkx

Please keep going. It may be hard to see what you have in common with drug addicts and alcoholics now, but give it some time. You will soon learn that these are all symptoms and not the problem itself. The problem itself is virtually the same, it's just at different levels of severity.

I highly suggest you try reading some things here on addiction and alcoholism. It helped me realize what I had in common with an addict. You may not be addicted to drugs or alcohol, but you ARE addicted to repeating your past and then drowning out the pain in every way you can. I can look back on my life right now and say every time I thought my life was really going good, there was something I was latching on to just to make myself feel better, usually relationships and jobs. When the relationship or the job failed, that's when I really fell to pieces - I didn't have that crutch to keep me going any more.

It's the same thing for an addict or alcoholic. The only time they're not in pain is when they are using something to drown it out.

Nov 04, 2009
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Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families
by: Anonymous

Judy, keep coming back. I can't come consistently because my husband and I work a farm and things sometimes come up. But I do want to continue attending.

I have some problems with dealing with an adult child of an alcoholic, but I also have issues with sexual abuse as a child. Sometimes you have to take bits and pieces you hear and thread them into your situation. The readings and comments have brought to light a lot of things I have not thought about. It took time to get where you are. It will take time to get where you want to be.

The biggest thing for me is knowing God is there to help me along the way. That is my biggest blessing besides the meetings and the participants at them.

Nov 04, 2009
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Keep coming back...
by: Don

Judy...thanks so much for your post! It gives me the opportunity to clarify something very important about recovery from childhood issues.

Many, many people have had just this same experience. At first it was hard for them to relate to others who had found ways to medicate their pain through some sort of addictive or compulsive behavior.

If one can find no "medicine", they are left with the pain, or the anger, or the sense of isolation, or all of the above! Sometimes a little counseling is necessary to get started in recovery.

Many of us felt no one could really understand what we feel and how we have been affected... until that one other person starts to talk (or share in some forum) and then it hits us -- they're telling my story!

In some 12-step meetings they say come to six consecutive meetings before you make a decision. I just say keeping coming back until you like it -- then you can stop if you want. :)

Don


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